Changing pavements
by fictionpress1213
Summary: Anastasia is losing all hope in her life as she loses everyone she cares about. Until she meets the infamous christian grey who sweeps her off her feet, and gives her something to live for again. Little does she know that she is doing the same for him.
1. Chapter 1

**_Okay guys, new story here. Please give it a chance and i promise you won't be dissapointed. It's the same rich Christian Grey and the same old virgin innocent Ana, but a diffrent more interesting story. This WILL NOT interfere with my other story Misunderstood Mistakes if that's what your worry about. Please read, fav, follow, comment, and PM. Do you like it? I've focused on trying to bring my writing level higher, so do you think I'm writing better in your opinion? Thanks and enjoy._**

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_I tried to keep myself occupied by staying up and reading a book, but nowadays it's like a hunt to find a book that really captures my attention._

_To me a book should be expresses one's self. A book helps you discover yourself, or figure out yourself piece by piece. When you read you should be able to connect with the characters, relate to them, you should be touched by the moral of the story, as well as the character is._

_Like if the book is about killing a monster. What is the purpose of the book? That you will no longer be scared of any more monsters you come in contact with? Surly not, the purpose is more simplistic than that._

_When I read books like this, I look beyond the total obvious. I look in between the lines to capture the total focus of the book. To me it speaks to me in a different meaning. We need to overcome our fears, and face the obstacles that may approach us in life. While it may seem like the impossible, the only thing really standing in your way is the amount of fear that you let override the situation._

_When I think of that I think of everyday life, and how we all have our own monsters. Whether it may be small materialistic things, or are huge life threatening situations, which of us will kill our monsters, or let them kill us?_

_Then I think of how I've grown to learn this on my own. As a child we are never taught of the big problems that we will eventually face in life. We are brought up believing life is a big fantasy with princesses and princes, when in reality it's not._

_I wish I were faced with the brutal reality of life at a young age to prepare me for what's to come when I have to face these problems head on. Because now I am lost trying to find my prince in this world, with no references to teach me. I've been thrown into this game blind, with nothing to guide me._

_I've been exposed to pain, and pleasure, both which just brings me closer to finding the one every day. But with each relationship, I lose all hope of finding true love._

_Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. But yet I am still waiting for all the darkness and hate to be driven out of my life…._

_But with every day my thoughts are being poisoned, and the idea of love is becoming nothing more than a fantasy to me, a fantasy I'm yet to experience._

I close my journal, and stare out of the window. Everyone tells me how I can really relive all my built up anger by writing, and I have to say it has helped.

Ever since my mother passed away I have been a lost. I feel as If I'm going through life hoping to find even the slightest chance at being happy again, but I just hit a dead end.

It's hopeless. My father died when I was born so I never knew him. So now I'm living with my aunt, which is more of a big sister If you ask me.

I've resorted to boyfriends, none of whom fulfill this void. Of course they have never even tried seeing as how all they wanted was sex. I may be an orphan now, but I am not helpless, and desperate.

So that leaves me a virgin in College. Yes my best friend Kate thinks it's completely ridiculous and saying how I've set my standards way too high. She says I've created this illusion that this man will sweep me off my feet, and we will spend the night making sweet love.

But is it really too much to ask?

I grab my jacket, and head downstairs. I've never really been one to drown my problems in alcohol, but at this rate I will have nothing else to distract me from the sad reality that is my life.

I head out of my house and enter the cloudy night of despair. The air is brisk, and foggy. The darkness screamed danger as I stepped out onto the pavement.

The road was wet due to the recent rain that just diminished. It smelled of nature, and fresh leaves.

I inhaled deeply and relished in the feel of the air brushing against my face. I loved the rain. It was mist that patters above a quiet alcove and brings the scent of wonderment and renewal.

I adored it ever since I was small. I stepped into my 2012 back Cadillac escalade, and descended into the foggy night.

Yes money has always been descent for me. We were definitely recognized as middle class. My aunt is a senior executive producer in ESPN.

Since I am in my last months of College she has been constantly nagging me to take the opening in her job. Of course i appreciate how she is looking out for me but I am majoring in publishing, i would like to intern in a publishing company.

However if things don't go as planned it's nice to always have a backup plan.

I pull up in front of a well known bar. By the looks of it, it is not very busy in there tonight. Perfect for not running into any people I know. With exams tomorrow, i don't think it's a good look on me if I'm seen drinking.

I head into the bar and take my place next to a man.

"Rum and whiskey."

I shrug off my jacket and take a look around. There are about ten people here with the exception of myself. That's odd seeing as how it's Seattle and people are always drunk in Seattle.

"That's a little strong for a girl your size isn't it?"

My eyes avert from my surroundings and i place them to the man sitting beside me. Scorching grey gaze fixated on me; glass in one hand other hand on the counter.

"You'd think so but with the way's my life's been going I can give too shit's what's strong for me and what isn't."

"And what can possibly be going wrong in your life when you look as beautiful as you are?"

I snort, and grab hold of my drink as the bartender places it in front of me.

"You know flattery will get you nowhere," I take a sip from my drink and continue to answer his question, "Death, hopeless love life, stress, I'd even go as far as to say depression. Just the basic's to make a girl hate the shitty hole that's become of her life."

He gives me a quizzical look as if he wants' to retort back with something if wont like.

"Yeah and if you dare call me a Gloomy emo girl, you might want to think again, because I am like a ticking bomb and I might just have to kick your ass."

I give him a fake smile, and continue to sip my drink.

"I wouldn't say it in those words exactly but.." I glare at him and cause him to chuckle.

"I'd say Optimistic Gloomy emo girl at the least." He arches his brow and pivots his body to face me.

"Do explain."

"Well my dear stranger friend I choose to think on the bright side and not be a pessimist. For example I am here drinking and not planning on a way to end my life. I choose to abide by the motto when one hit's rock bottom the only way t go is up. I know I've hit rock bottom, so I have no choice than to believe things will eventually turn around for me, if I don't I'll just fit every stereotype of every other gloomy emo girl."

I look at the man and he looks as if he is trying to figure me out. Trying to calculate me, but before he can get another word out I interrupt him.

"And what about you, you're not looking so mirthful and peppy yourself. By the looks of your clothing you're pretty rich, so money isn't the issue. By your looks I'm positive girls aren't the issue. So tell me what is it?"

He cocks his head back to finish the remainder of his drink, and I am mesmerised by him. This is the first time I've notices the good look he contains, and I am awe strucked.

From his finely chiselled nose, to his muscular jaw, from his piercing stare that captivates me and makes my breath hitch. As I scan his body I stop at his chest and can see the distinctive outline of his chest through his layer of clothing.

I am snapped out of my reverie when he looks at me again and smirks.

"Well I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

I smirk at him and nod my head.

"Surly telling me your little secret would have been better than telling me your secret is kill worthy."

"We'd never know than know will we?"

"You are definitely the most abstruse man I've met."

"I can say the say the same to you, ms?" He asks awaiting my answer.

"And why should I tell you my name if i know you have this big dark secret?"

"Every man has his quirks and twists."

"Just as every girl is entitled to a secret. And my name is my secret seeing as how i told you my whole life story."

"So where does this leave us then, a dead end?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'd say it leaves us with one hell of an interesting night, and the million dollar question: What if."

I finish the rest of my drink, and look in my purse to find my wallet. But the mystery man beat me to it, and placed a bill on the counter to the bartender.

"Think of it as a thank you for the interesting night. You were definetly a distraction from my problems."

"I'm glad i can help." I get off from the stool, and find the man leering at me with a look of longing and want.

"I'm glad I can help. Goodnight."

And with that I head out of the bar, and into the night that no longer has that sense of danger, but wonder.


	2. Chapter 2

I've been living my life on the border line. I've been playing it safe and playing by the rules. But I have to take into account that great love and great achievement come with great risks. How can I ever expect great things to come to me, when I don't do great things to receive it?

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is greater than fear. I am greater than fear; my aunt is greater than fear. Someone else out there is greater than fear, and I need to muster up all of the courage within me, and search for that someone or something to make me complete again.

My loneliness may spur me into finding something to live for, something that will be great enough to die for. The way I see it is if I want the rainbow I have to put up with the rain. But the thought that keeps pondering in my mind is that I've endured enough rain, and yet I still see no rainbow. And with each storm that passes, I'm starting to question if my rainbow will ever come.

I've had enough trials to make me strong, enough sorrow to make me human, but I don't have enough hope to make me happy.

The pain and loss I have submitted to just feeds my denial more, and makes it that much harder for me to believe.

But I have to struggle to get what I want. I have to think highly of myself because the world takes me at my own estimate. _My life is becoming focused with each day on the one factor that is death. _

_Death isn't just a veil, it's a cold iron wall we can't see around, and quite frankly not many of us want to. We forget that although our destination is Imminent, how we get there makes everything more fulfilling._

_And this is the hope that will keep me going. Knowing that at the end I don't want to die knowing I never even lived. I don't want to give in to death now because I have many more years until I will have to face that factor. No matter how strong the temptation may be, I want to be able to earn the life I've been given._

I finished my Journal entry.

I finished all of my exams today, and again now it is the night.

Where does the time pass? Soon I will be an old lady with seven cats, and I am not looking forward to wrinkles, and wheel chairs.

I've talked all of this crap about living life, and having fun while I'm young yet it's obvious that my own words don't apply to myself.

I'm so caught up with feeling sorry for myself, and loathing my life, that I am letting my life pass me by.

You know what I am a gloomy emo girl. I always brood, and think of the negative aspects in life, I'm surprised I'm not dressed in black and slitting my wrists. Then I will be the typical emo girl.

I chuckle to myself, and decide to head back to that bar. Another drink can help, and quite frankly if I run into Mr. Mysterious from yesterday, I wouldn't mind.

I get into my car and head back to the bar from yesterday. Heading in the aroma hits me again. I'm actually getting used to it.

As I scan the room my eyes stop at the bar, but I notice he is not here. Disappointment fills me and I shake it off and reclaim my spot at the bar.

Why am I even sad that he is not here? God am I that lonely that the first man that I meet; I latch on to him like a life line. What did I really expect from seeing him again?

Surly he has better things to do then talk to a brooding, self pity, depressed girl like myself. I am a mess in a box.

Misery does love company. I guess I just liked the company of someone other than my aunt, myself, or my friends. He was definitely something new.

I smile at the memory and order the same drink from yesterday, until a voice interrupts me.

"Look who it is." I turn to see the man from yesterday, and can't help but feel giddy inside.

"Stalking are we now?" I state matter of factly. I know if anything I am the one stalking but I can't let him know that.

"Are you sure you aren't the one stalking?"

"Sorry to disappoint you but no."

"Hmm, I see. So you had no intentions of seeing me here tonight? Maybe a recap of last night?"

He takes off his jacket, and orders his drink. With him at such a close proximity, I can smell his exhilarating scent.

"I can do without another round of playing hard to get."

"I see. What about your name this time?"

"And why would I give my name to a stranger?"

"Well you didn't seem to have a problem with opening up to me yesterday, your name can't be that hard to give up?"

"How about I get to know you better, then I'll think about it?"

"Good point. How about a game of twenty questions?"

"Game." My drink comes and I take a gulp to prepare me for what's to come.

"Girl or boy child?"

"Boy, girls are too much."

"Summer or winter?"

"Definitely winter, I hate the hotness."

"Serious relationship, or a fling?"

"Depends on who it's with."

"Dogs or cats?"

"Oh god dogs. Cat's are just rats with hair."

"Piercings or tattoos?"

"Neither I don't believe in damaging my body permanently."

"Favorite color?"

"Red. It can be its total opposite. It can mean passion, love, intimacy, or danger and anger. It symbolizes me perfectly."

"My place or yours?"

I almost choke on my drink by the bluntness of his question. My feeble attempt of trying to play it cool isn't working since I can see the sly grin on his face.

"Well that's a little soon seeing as how you don't even know my name."

"Touché."

"Besides I'd rather see where this goes. Maybe somewhere outside of this bar."

"I will have to hold you to it then."

I right down my number on a paper, and hand it to him. Taking out a bill I place it on the bar, and head off to leave.

"You know its becoming déjà vu with you running off a leaving me here. I think I'll take you up on that offer now."

He places his leather jacket back on and we walk in unison out of the bar.

Oh god, I need to play it cool. I try to suppress my smile that is urging to show on my face. I feel like a teenager going out with her crush.

I hear him chuckle besides me and turn to see him staring at the paper I gave him.

"And what is so amusing about my number?"

He shakes his head and places the paper in his pocket.

"The fact that you gave me your number but no name. You really aren't going to give me your name are you?"

I smile and return my focus on the side walk ahead of us.

"Not that easy I won't."

We continue to walk in uncomfortable silence, until he breaks it first.

"You know I was wrong about you."

I frown and turn to him.

"And what were you wrong about?"

"You're not a gloomy emo girl. Although for first impressions you do give off that vibe."

I laugh and cross my arms over my chest as a light breeze passes through.

"Oh I'm not am I? So what am I then?"

He cocks his head to the side, and stares at me intensely.

I feel exposed by his stare almost as if he can see right through me.

"You are just a girl who is just trying to find your place in this world. Because of all the crap you endured you have a defense mechanism a wall pulled up because you're afraid to let people in. Unfortunately that may mislead the way people perceive you. Because of the way people have treated you, you've let that influence your thoughts on other people. However when you let that wall down you're a loving carefree girl. A witty charm, a unique perspective, a sarcastic personality. You want to find love, a love that consumes you. You want a man with a touch that is lethal, a presence intoxicating. You want a love that will be the death of you. A love so strong that it's almost unbreakable. You want to be wanted, and you want to be cherished, and you want to be appreciated for all that makes you."

I shift my position as I listen to him read me like an open book. I am speechless. I'm staring at him dumb founded at the way he just described all of my desires.

"Did I get it right?"

"Down to a t." I answer breathlessly.

We continue to walk to my car, again continuing with the silence. I am trying to gather up all my thoughts and try to make sense of all of this.

Everyone in my life can never read me. Not like he did. They never stood to get to know me, they never wanted to. But this man got all that from the little information I gave him.

He remains a mystery in my eyes. He is intriguing at the least but I can't help but feel like there is so much more to him, more than I can see on the outside.

He is so captivating. Down to the way he always seems to have a comeback for my little remarks. He makes me feel this unexplainable sensation, and I know it's insane since I just met him no more than 24 hours ago.

I can't help but feel like I need to know him better. I am drawn to him, he is riveting.

"So how about I call you tomorrow?"

"We'll see."

I open the door to my car and see him smile and shake his head as he walks away.

Really we'll see? That's it. Here we go with trying to play hard to get. You're throwing away someone who genuinely seems interested in you.

"Anastasia."

"What?"

"My name it's Anastasia."

His smile grows even wider at the revelation.

"Christian."

And with that I get into my car, and head home with his face fixated in my mind. He is the epitome of a mystery, and I will figure him out.


	3. Chapter 3

I've noticed i've lost readers. That sucks so i hope this chapter will gain some of you guys back. This is a feel of how Ana and her aunt Olivia's relationship is. Also Elliot's and Christian. My inspiration is from the Ugly truth so i hope you like it.

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Anastasia Steele Potrayed by: Miranda Kerr

Christian Grey Portrayed by: Ian Somerhalder

Elliot Grey Potrayed by: Kellan Lutz

Olivia Steele Potrayed by: Eva Longoria

Katherine Kavanagh Potrayed by: Candice Accola

_Today feels like a new day. I feel like my eyes are finally open, I feel alive. For once I have a motive, I have strength I have hope, because I know I will see him again._

_It's so hard to forget the pain, but it is even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scars from happiness, which makes it even harder to hold on to sometime. But I won't let darkness takeover my life anymore._

_I will never love if I keep searching for what happiness consists of, nor will I ever live if I keep searching for the meaning of life. We are blind when it comes to finding out our futures._

_There is no way to know what will become of our life's, or how it will end, because as far as we know our life's are just blank pages that we create with every action we make._

_It took long enough for me to figure it out, but now I see._

I open my closet feeling like a new person. With every new person comes a new style and I intend on creating a whole new look.

No more will I be the regular jeans and plain t kind of girl. If I want my life to be full of adventure and fun than I need to dress like it.

I grab a hold of my leather biker jacket. Okay so I wear that every day but a leather jacket fit's every categories.

I rummage through the back of my closet to find something that catches my eye. I find a grey and black waist high skirt that stops higher above my knees. I look in the mirror and it hugs my body perfectly.

I rummage some more and find a blue denim button down shirt. I throw that on with my leather jacket on top and smile. Now to complete the look… Hmmm.

Jewelry will be too much. I find my black suede ankle boots and throw them on. I look at my hair that is curled with a line split in the middle.

It doesn't look good with the look at all. I flip my hair up and down, and move most of my hair to one side. There you go, I look sexy.

I grab my black bag and head down stairs.

"You grumpy, ugly, disgusting, ass face licker."

I frown and head down stairs. What the hell. I seem my aunt throwing a pillow at the TV and I watch her.

I watch her amused as she hits the couch and grabs her hair. I cough to let my presence be known. She turns and blows her hair out of her face as she tries to act casual.

"Hey kiddo."

I smirk at her and shake my head.

"Those were quite the adjectives Olivia. And here I thought your name meant peace."

I shake my head and lean next to the wall.

"Yea well that would explain why I always hated my name," She points to her face and shakes her head," I am not peaceful."

"I don't know you usually act sane a peaceful to me. Who's the person that provoked the potty mouth?"

"That would be my ass face of a ex-boyfriend. That extra spot that I've been begging you to take has been filled. Yep and guess who got the spot?"

" face?"

"Correct. Just when I start to forget him the ass pops back up."

"What happened between you two?"

"Let's just say he did some unboyfriend things, which spiked my anger and we ended up with a visit from the cops."

"What?" I start to laugh with my aunt. After we start laughing she stares at me with a smile playing upon her lips.

"You seem… Different. It's a good different I like it. I haven't seen you smile in a while."

"Yea…. I woke up feeling different. And I thought you know what this is rare so I might as well stick with it while it lasts."

"That's good. So who is he, and how should I thank him for making my niece smile?"

I shake my head and smile. If there is one thing she is good at is reading me. Never can I get anything past her. Just like Kate. Speaking of the infamous Kate I wonder why she has not called me yet.

"What makes you assume it is a boy?"

"Yea. You suck at being oblivious. Spit it out."

"There isn't a guy Olivia."

"Wow we're lying now too. I thought we were closer than that."

God I hate when I make her feel bad. I love her more than anything on the earth and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

"It's just I practically just met him. We are basically nothing more than acquaintances. I don't want to read in it too much, until I actually know what he is myself."

I might find out sooner than later actually. I know I'm holding back on telling her the truth of the whole situation, but I can't even figure it out myself.

"Yea now you're holding out the truth on me."

It really is crazy how she reads my mind. Ever since I was ten she always had that ability.

"Fine. I guess… Okay it's like my life has been like this maze, I've been lost. I don't know, but like ever since I met him I can't help but feel like I'm getting closer to finding the exit. And it's insane since I barley know him, not to mention we've only had two encounters, both which were in a bar if I haven't mention, one of those encounters he just read me like a book perfectly, and I just I like him a lot. And…"

I stop talking and look at my aunt who is smiling at me.

"Oh yea he tends to make me babble a lot. I just I'm confused, and I don't want to get my hopes up just to get hurt. Especially since he is really really good looking, it's almost unreal. And me I'm just... well I'm average."

My aunt walks over to me and places her hands on my shoulder, to stop me from talking.

"You seem I'm babbling again. I'm just confused." I take a breath and stare at my aunt.

"Ana it just sounds to me like you like him a lot. It really doesn't matter if you just met him it's natural. And don't you ever think that you are just average. I don't know how many times me and other people will have to tell you that you are beautiful. You need to start to believe that if you ever want to be in a relationship that will last."

She caresses my cheek, and I smile. Just when I start to breathe normally my phone rings. I look at the caller I.D and almost faint.

"Oh my god, oh my god it's him. What do I do, what do I say do I pick it up, will it make me look desperate."

My aunt takes the phone and hangs it up. I look from her to the phone confused.

"Wh, why would you do that?"

"Because you want to know if this guy really likes you well we are about to test it out."

I frown and I can tell I have a confused look on my face.

"Ana just listen. Watch him call back in the next minute."

In less than a minute the phone rings and my eyes widen, as my aunt smirks at me.

"You see what'd I say? Now listen let it ring a couple of times when you pick up say a random name."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No Olivia I won't do it."

I shake my head and keep a serious look on my face.

"Do you want this to work?"

"Yes but…"

"But nothing," she cuts me off.

"No I can't do this, he's going to..." Before I can argue any more she open the phone and hands it to me.

"Hello Adam." I scowl at her and she just smiles and leans on the wall while she continues to sip her coffee.

"This isn't Adam." Christian says.

"Oh my mistake. This is Jake… Wait not that can't be it.. Is it Jesse? How are you?" I say trying to play it cool.

"No it's Christian Anastasia." I almost melt hearing him say my name.

"No don't let him get to you." My aunt whispers.

"Oh Christian. Ummmmm…. From school?"

My aunt nods and mouths, "Good one," To me. I smirk and listen to his response.

"No Anastasia Christian from the bar."

"Oh I'm sorry. How are you Christian?"

"I'm good I just called to tell you to be ready by eight." I frown and smirk. How demanding of him.

"Well that sounds to me like a demand."

"Your correct Anastasia, that's an order."

I can't help but let the blush creep up on my face. He is so hot.

My aunt doesn't look to happy.

"No keep it going." I nod and think of what to say next.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you I was never too good at taking orders. So let me check my schedule first. Hold on a second."

I put him on hold and stare at my aunt.

"That was good." I smile in satisfaction and can't help but feel all giddy.

"Okay now what?" She takes my phone and hangs it up.

"Now you get your ass too school, before you're late."

"But?" She takes my keys and hands it to me while pushing me out of the house.

"We just leave him waiting."

"Yes we do. Drive safely. Have a good day." She yells as she squishes me out of the door and closes it.

**Christian POV**

"So that girl you told me about from the bar, just call her and ask her on a date man."

As I sit in my desk I look at my brother. Why did I ever tell Elliot anything? He is so fucking nosy; he is just going to keep on pestering me.

But I do want to see Anastasia again. She is so fucking beautiful. And for me to ever think I'll get a face like that out of my mind I was fucking wrong. I can't concentrate.

"Elliot do you really need to bother me with this shit as work?" I stare at him.

I watch as he lays back and puts his hands behind his head.

"Well I'm not leaving until you call her." I roll my eyes and place my hands on my head.

"You know what screw it. I put the phone on speaker and dial her number. We both wait in anticipation only to hear the ring cut short.

"She hung up on you." Elliot laughs.

I scowl. What the fuck. I try it again and after five fucking agonizing rings she picks up. I give Elliot a "I told you so" look and he puts his hands up in defeat.

"Hello Adam?" What the fuck. Elliot's eyes widen and I can see the big smile on his face as he sits up and moves closer to the phone.

"This isn't Adam." I say as coolly as I can manage. Elliot looks like he is about to burst out laughing. Who the fuck is Adam?

"Oh my mistake. This is Jake… Wait not that can't be it.. Is it Jesse? How are you?"

Okay now I'm just pissed. Jake, Jesse, Adam? Who the hell are all these men? I swear I will rip them to fucking shreds if she is seeing them.

Elliot is now covering his mouth at this point trying to suppress his laughter.

What fucking game is she playing at?

"No it's Christian Anastasia." I hear her breathe hitch from the way I say her name. Gotcha.

"Oh Christian. Ummmmm…. From school?" I smirk. Nice try Anastasia you know who it is. Playing hard to get are we now?

"No Anastasia Christian from the bar." There it is again, her breath hitched. Oh yea baby I know what I do to you. Don't worry the feeling is mutual.

I lean back in my chair relaxed, now that I know she is just messing around. Grey is back.

"Oh I'm sorry Christian. How are you?" How long is she going to keep this little charade up?

"I just called to tell you to be ready by eight."

"Well that sounds to me like a demand." Your right it is a fucking demand.

"Your correct Anastasia that's an order." I can hear a smirk playing at her lips. If your with me you better get used to it.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you I was never too good at taking orders. So let me check my schedule first. Hold on a second."

Just like that I get put on hold. Elliot let's his laugh out, and starts to laugh. Really? I do not get put on hold, I put people on hold. She definitely is different.

After 40 seconds the line goes dead and me and Elliot both stare at the phone.

This of course only makes Elliot laugh louder. At this point he is clutching his stomach and rolling on the floor.

"Dam Bro. I like her."

"Elliot, I'm happy I made your day. Now get your ass off the floor and out of the office, I have work to do."

He gets up and adjusts his jacket.

"Hey I'm just saying. She's feisty; she put Mr. Grey in his place. See you later bro."

I frown as he leaves and run my hands through my hair. Anastasia, Anastasia. What am I going to do about you?


	4. Chapter 4

Hope you like it. Please comment i love the feedback.

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I get home at 6:00 after I finished all of my classes today. Of course I was barely focused in any of my classes. My mind kept going back to aunt and Christian and the whole situation this morning.

"Olivia?" I yell out as I enter my home. I hear no answer, she must be held up at work.

I throw my bags on the couch and head in the kitchen. A note attached to the fridge catches my attention and I move forward to it.

**_Ana,_**

**_Will be held up at work, I have to deal with face._**

**_There's Money on the counter for food._**

**_Don't expect me until later this night._**

**_Xoxo_**

Hmmmm, maybe I could just call Christian? I've been tempted to all day.

_**P.s Don't even think about calling Christian. Or text.**_

I laugh to myself. Or not. It's crazy how she foreshadowed this.

I open up the fridge and take out a bottle of water and some strawberries. Okay so Olivia is out, I can't call Christian, and all of my friends are out partying like any normal college student.

I should be out with them but ever since my mom passed I haven't been up for partying anymore. I haven't really been up for anything anymore actually. It's just too hard to have fun anymore.

So what should I do then on a Friday night? I try to push the pushy thoughts in my head telling me to just call Christian. I don't want to come off pushy and clingy.

I pick my hair up in a big slinky bun and sit down to do some homework. Hey if I have nothing else to do what better time to get some grades up right?

I mean the house is spotless, and I am not up for going out so might as well. I head up stairs and quickly change into black spandex and a white tank top.

As I head back down stairs I open up my bag and dive into my homework. All too soon I'm finished and it's not even 7:00. So much for occupying my time.

Bruno Mars's song Locked out of Heaven is playing lightly on my stereo and I decide to blast it. I never really had a movie moment by myself. I might as well go for it and dance to music like every other lonely girl in the movies.

"You make me feel like; I've been locked out of heaven." I start to bob my head to the song and tap my hands on the furniture to the beat.

I get caught up in the dancing and eventually fall on my ass. Typical of me to fall. This really makes it a movie scene. I stay on the floor and breathe heavily while I stare at the ceiling.

I take the time to have one of those moments where you just reflect on your life. I'm a typical girl who writes in her diary, never takes risk though I push all my friends to do so. I just wish I could have more adventure in my life.

This is becoming a routine for me. And the fact that I'm so used to staying home alone by myself when I should be out is really pathetic. I'm becoming that cartoon on the APP ifunny. The one that always has the caption saying forever alone.

I laugh to myself, and am stopped when I hear the doorbell ring. Who could that be? Aunt Olivia is out late, plus she has a key. It's probably one of my friends.

I roll over and push myself up from the floor and lower the music. I peek through the window next to my door and practically faint. Christian is here!

So great to know that if I ignore calling him he will just show up at my house. That would be useful information next time.

I press my back against the door and try to clear my head. What would Aunt Olivia do? Well she would say to not answer. I wait there and peek my eyes open after a while when I don't hear the bell again.

I breathe a sigh of relief, but then the bell rings again. I start to pace in front of my door and think. So that didn't work, now to plan B. I take my hair out of the bun and flip it up and down until I look sexy.

I check my face in the mirror to make sure it looks presentable. I dab some blistex on and flip my hair once more. I grab hold of the knob and take a deep breath before I open it.

"Christian?" I try to look surprised. God he looks so gorgeous right now I literally have to force myself to breathe normally.

"She remembers my name." He says with a smirk. I blush and try to play it cool.

"Yea sorry about that. Um, what are you doing here?"

He leans against the door frame and I have to step back a little.

"Well since you didn't call back after you checked your schedule I took matters into my own hands."

So now I know there really is no escaping him. Good to know. Come on I have to think quick on my feet , don't let him win.

"Well I'm not up for going out tonight, so maybe next time?" I say.

Good job with the quick comeback I think.

"That's fine with me we can stay in." God dam him. He found a loop hole.

"Umm, sure. Come in." He steps in and brushes his body pasts me. Son of a bitch did that on purpose.

The music is still playing softly and I decide to put it louder to block out the awkward silence. Of course it back fires on me thought because when I put it louder it's Ed Sherman Kiss me.

_Settle down with me_  
_Cover me up_  
_Cuddle me in_  
_Lie down with me_  
_Hold me in your arms_

_Your heart's against my chest_  
_Lips pressed to my neck_  
_I've fallen for your eyes_  
_But they don't know me yet_

_And the feeling I forget_  
_I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_

I head into the kitchen and brush past Christian slightly.

"I can cook something. Have you eaten?"

I glance at him and immediately regret it.

"I would love that I'm famished."He says dramatically with a smirk.

I take out what I need as he sits on the stool watching me. He has on a leather white T and dark jeans with combat boots. He smells mouth watering.

I try to distract myself and start to cut up the vegetables. But it's kind of fucking distracting when there's this hot man staring at you.

"Here let me." He says as he takes of his jacket and comes to stand next to me. I turn and his chest is right next to mines and he is staring down at me with such intensity.

I try to calm my breathing and hand him the knife.

"Thank you." He says still smirking. Obviously he is enjoying seeing me smirk.

I head to the fridge and take out other ingredients I need. I'm really starting to get upset with the fucking song; it isn't helping the situation at all right now.

_This feels like I've fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_

_Settle down with me_  
_And I'll be your safety_  
_You'll be my lady_

_I was made to keep your body warm_  
_But I'm cold as, the wind blows_  
_So hold me in your arms_

_My heart's against your chest_  
_Your lips pressed to my neck_  
_I've fallen for your eyes_  
_But they don't know me yet_

_And the feeling I forget_  
_I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_

I close my eyes and breathe deeply before I close the door and turn around. Only to be confronted with Christian again at a close proximity.

"Excuse me." I say quietly. As I try to move past him he grabs my arm and pulls me back so my back is against the wall.

_This feels like I've fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_

_Yeah I've been feeling everything_  
_From hate to love_  
_From love to lust_  
_From lust to truth_  
_I guess that's how I know you_

_So hold you close_  
_To help you give it up_

_So kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_

_This feels like I've fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_

_So kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_  
_Wanna be loved_

_This feels like I've fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_  
_Fallen in love_

Before I have time to react he grabs hold of me and kisses me deeply. It's filed with such lust and desire yet roughness and harshness. I arch my back and he places his hand behind my back and pushes my body even closer to his.

He lifts up my leg and holds it around his waist while I lock my hands around his neck and through his hair.

In a flash I faintly notice that I've been lifted onto the counter my legs wrapped around Christian as we continue to kiss. I break the kiss and start to kiss his neck and jaw.

His moans only give me more encouragement. He has his head rolled back as I assault his neck. He picked me up as we lock lips again, and hear him throw off everything on a nearby desk. He lays me down and rips open my tank top, and starts to suck his way on my cleavage and on my neck.

Just then the door opens and My aunt Olivia comes In with a man behind her.

I stop kissing him and look at my aunt panting and breathless. As Christian holds on to either sides of the desk and turns his head away from my aunt and he drops his head trying to regain his breath as well.

My aunt is shocked and her friend also turns away. My aunt has a deep frown on her face as she bites the inside of her cheek, and stares at me with disbelief.

Fuck I'm in trouble.

* * *

The songs are Ed Sheerman Kiss me, and Bruno Mars Locked Out Of Heaven. I love them, search them and listen to them what do you think? I just had to use them.


	5. Chapter 5

_I changed my mind people the new Anastasia Steele is a victoria secret model named Barbra Palvin. She is beautiful search her up tell me what do you think?_

* * *

_Humanity has been molded into a whole new meaning. Humanity is not the act of growing old, nor moving on, or even fighting to survive. Animals grow old, they fight, they kill, and they survive when they must. Does that mean they have humanity? No, humanity to me holds a much different meaning._

_To me, humanity is that ability to swim against the current. Humanity is that ability to make your own path, to forge your own future and grasp it with both hands. To me, humanity is the ability to feel so alive, to reach that nirvana that we all miss so deeply even when we say we don't._

_Humanity is what separates us from the animals._

_I met Christian and things got way to out of hand for people who hardly know each other. I mean hadn't it been for my aunt….. I would not be a Virgin today._

_I got scolded by my aunt and we had a very long talk. It ended with me and Christian settling on being friends and not moving too fast._

_It was a mutual decision seeing as how things were moving too fast, yet I didn't want to let him go seeing as how to me he was like that shred of humanity that ive been yearning for._

_I've been craving something or someone to help me feel alive, renewed again._

_To make me feel a sense of clarity for a change._

_I just met Christian but I would like to find out if he could be the one to give me back my humanity._

_I lay my Journal down on the Counter and go to get my cup of coffee. I pour y self a cup and check my phone that is charging on the nearby outlet._

_Hmm One text message._

**_Will be staying out late at work again. Will be expecting no more than PG scenes when I arrive home if you don't mind. I wouldn't want a recap of the previous night please._**

_I shake my head. Ever since that night she has been scolding me and has given me many lectures. I wonder if she will ever let it go._

_I turn my attention back to the counter only to find my Journal missing. What the hell? I'm the only one here so how the hell did it just vanish into thin air?_

_"Wow I never knew you could be so….. deep." I glance and see Christian on my couch reading my journal._

_I stomp over to him and glare at him._

_"Glad you decided to let yourself in," I said sarcastically trying to get my journal out of his hold, "Now give it back."_

_"Hmm that depends. How good are you on your knees." He states and I smirk at him._

_"Just about as good as you are." I arch my brow. _

_I snatch the book away from him and end up falling on top of him. I look at him and can see the victorious grin on his face._

_"You just can't stay off me can you?" He asks with a dark gleam on his eyes._

_"Oh you know me." I say seductively kneeling down between his legs. I see his eye's travel to my cleavage and I smirk._

_"I just love this view." He says trying to catch his breath._

_I shake my head and get up. His gaze stays fixated on me. Damn his beautiful eyes, and just his beautiful everything. He just screams sex for god's sake._

_"Don't you have a billionaire company to run?" I ask him as I take a seat on the opposite couch._

_"I do yes, but it's just so much more fun being here with you." He says sarcastically._

_We are both interrupted by my friend Melisa coming down the stairs. She stood over last night after getting drunk and forgetting the keys to her apartment. Silly college girls._

_"Uhh hey." She says awkwardly. I get up from the couch and guide her to the kitchen where I give her some coffee. _

_"How you feeling? This should help." I tell her. _

_"Ugg I feel like shit. Thanks for letting me crash here." I smile and Christian walks over._

_"And who's this?" Melisa asks eyeing Christian._

_"This is Christian."_

_"Grey." Christian finishes for me while taking her hand and kissing it making her blush._

_I roll my eyes and shake my head. Him and his good lucks, they should be illegal._

_"So I should get going," Melisa say's still eyeing Christian," Walk me to my car?" She asks._

_Of course he complies leaving me alone in the house. Alone. As always. I really need to get out more, this is just getting sad._

_I open up my lap top and start to type away at a end of the year essay for my marketing class._

* * *

_An hour passes, and I'm really feeling my essay. Of course my ass is numb at this point from sitting so much, and my eye's hurt, but overall I think I might get an A._

_Suddenly a hand rest beside minds, and a chin lays on my head. I look up and am staring into the face of Christian as he stares at me._

_"Weren't you supposed to be gone, like an hour ago?" He smiles and kisses my forehead before I get up and stretch a little._

_"What's this for?" He asks as he claims my seat and starts to read my essay._

_"A business class."_

_"Wow it's good. But why would you need a business class when you have your very own business tycoon at your disposal?" He asks smirking at me. _

_I shake my head and spread my legs and reach to touch the floor. I hear a growl and look at Christian._

_"Are you deliberately trying to make me hard?" He asks._

_I laugh and start to roll my head around._

_"It's not my fault you're not getting any ass grey." I state nochanatly. Which is weird to me since he is fucking hot?_

_"I do have sex Anastasia. Just not from the person I want to do it with." He says staring at me with such lust filled eyes._

_I cock my head and stare at him before going to stand between his legs._

_"Nice try Grey. Friends remember?" I say tapping his cheek lightly._

_"You really like me, don't you? I mean it's plausible, but do you really need to get this close?" He says wrapping his arms around my waist. _

_I laugh and get out of his hold._

_"Take me with you." I say making him look at me confused._

_"To your job. Let me get a view of the business world." I say excitedly._

* * *

_"Fucking Shit." I wake up muttering when I am hit with a big headache. I looked around to see half of my body falling off of a bed. There are feathers all over the room, along with many bottles of alcohol. _

_I can see I am half naked. I am in Panties and my shirt is ties in a weird knot above my hip. I look around only to see Christian with his tie wrapped around his head only in pajama pants._

_I groan and roll of to hit him of his chest. He wakes up and looks around the room._

_"What the fuck?" He states and throws his tie on the floor. I laugh and get off of the bed._

_"How did let me see your job, result in this?" I say gesturing to the kayos' around the room._

_He gets up from the bed and goes straight to the bathroom leaving the door open. I can hear the shower running seconds later. _

_I giggle and look around the room observing. Really classy Ana, I think to myself._

_I enter the bathroom and start to wash my face purposely using cold water enjoying hearing Christian grunt. I then start to flush the toilet to hear him make even more grunts._

_He opens his shower door and pops his head out to glare at me. I giggle again and he just continues to shower._

_We both enter his room and I take out his shirt and sweats and change in front of him watching him smirking at me. We don't talk just continue to go about in silence._

_After we finish up he dresses in his Sharp CEO look and I just look …. Well nothing compared to how he looks. He drives me home._

_In the car the song "Enjoy the silence," By Amberlin starts to play. I turn it lowder blasting it singing along._

_"YOUR ALL I EVER WANTED, ALL I EVER NEEDED." Christian just stares at me._

_"Stop singing."_

_"Nope."_

_"Yes."_

_"NO." I state and turn it even louder._

_After I finish I lower it and the car goes silence. I smirk to myself and notice him staring at me._

_"Do you feel better?"_

_"Very much so, thank you." I say trying to stifle a laugh._

_"God you have to be the most stubbornness woman I ever met."_

_I roll my eyes and avert my gaze to the road._

_"Are you going to continue to do that?" He asks._

_"Do what?" I ask curiously._

_"Rolling your eyes. Because if you continue to do so I might just have to put you over my knee." He says in all seriousness._

_I don't answer back. My throat literally gets caught in my throat. Am I turned on by that? I keep to myself for the remainder of the ride and try to contemplate what he just said._

_When he drops me off at my school, I kiss him on the cheek goodbye and go on to my classes._

* * *

_Turns out I actually did get an A on that essay. As I start to walk home after school I get stopped by Kate._

_"God Steele I feel like I haven't seen you in years. Not good bro." She says out of breath._

_"Well you've been MIA so start talking." I tell her._

_"I've just been busy with the newspaper and this new guy I met. Speaking of guys who is this mysterious hot god Melisa is blabbing about. She says he was in your house Steele."_

_I blush. It's just like Melisa to blab. Her and her big mouth._

_"It's not a big thing. Were friends we are just having fun." I state truthfully._

_"Anastasia Steele having fun? I'm shocked alert the media." I glare at Kate. Really?_

_"Yes I do have fun Kate gosh. I mean I know I haven't been much alive since everything happened, but that's all going to change now. I need to stop sulking and brooding and just move on, because the rest of the world is not going to wait for me." I say._

_"I'm glad." She smile and we walk arm in arm to our cars._

* * *

_I hop out of the shower and slip on a big shirt that stops a little under my ass. I have no bar just boy shorts, and I start to dry my hair with a towel._

_"Love the look. Although I do prefer you to be in silk." I am shocked to see Christian laying on my bed arms behind his head._

_"God you scared me shitless." I say holding my chest._

_I head to the bed and start to take the duvet and pillows off of the bed._

_"Why is it that you feel free to invite yourself in?" I ask._

_"Because you love my company. You secretly wish I were here often because you want me that much." I chuckle and pick up my hair._

_"Oh yea how did you know. Take me know Christian. I don't think I can last another day."_

_I slip in the bed and turn to face him._

_"Your definitely different then what I'm used to." He says staring into my eyes intently. He get's out of his daze quickly and stand up._

_"Where you going?" I asked._

_"Out. You know that piece of ass you say I'm not getting? Yea well she's at my house from now until Sunday." He smirks._

_I laugh and snuggle into my pillow a little more as I can feel myself drifting off more and more._

_"Have fun." I say while I curl up._

_Christian comes up to me and kisses my head. I can feel him linger there longer and smell my hair._

_He then leaves leaving me to doze off._

* * *

_Okay so as you can guess the piece of ass Christian is getting is a sub. He is dominat Christian but Anastasia does not know. Okay but i promise once she finds out there will be some hot diffrent sex scenes. Okay so how do you like Ana and Christian's relationship? They are friends ( FOR NOW ) You know they will never last. They are like friends who are a little too close they are like Friends with benifits sort of. But thy see it as just friends. They are too friendly to be friends, get it? Don't worry they will be together soon. SO with that being said do you like it? Please give me feedback._


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so a lot of you guys are telling me that you are confused, I did a complete turn, I'm confusing you guys, and even some say they don't like where it's going. So let me explain. I want Ana and Christian to have a friend relationship filled with teasing and flirting desire lust, and lot's of sexual tension. I don't want them to just be together and start dating like every other story. They both have lust for each other that's all it is for now at least. They relationship will be very "Unique." They flirt and may even kiss but they are remaining friends until further notice. I want you guys to like the dynamic of their relationship. I want you guys to want Ana and Christian to be together, but if I just make them be together that will be too easy. BTW there will be no Elena or Hyde. I refuse to add the life threatening drama shit, just to let you guys know. As for people who are asking why Christian has a sub, he has his needs guys. He like's teasing Ana and he wants her but he enjoys there little mouse and cat friendship. Just as Ana does. I want their title to remain friends for now so I can add the drama of Ana seeing other guys. Don't you guys love it when Jealous Christian comes out to play? As for how he gets into her apartment, well it's Christian grey guys he will find a way. For those who don't understand how I got from sexy juicy scene to friends, well I shall explain that as well. Everything that happen was an act on impulse; living in the moment if you will. Ana decided that everything was going too fast and she wanted to go slow. Christian obliged and thought he'd make Ana his one or the other. He'd though he'd play along. Don't worry maybe the next chapter if not the chapter after that I will have a Christian POV. Any more questions DON'T hesitate to ask. P.s for those who just don't like my story because it's DIFFERENT, please just give it a chance. If you wanted to read about the same old Ana and Christian you would just pop out the original books and read that. Please just believe in me give me feedback I will try my best to keep everyone happy.**

* * *

I'm awakened by bouncing on my bed. Really? If this is Christian I swear to god I will kick him straight in the nuts. I turn slightly groaning only to be welcomed by the sight of a bubbly Kate.

"Kate….. Seriously? You don't have your own bed to jump on? I'm trying to get some sleep here." I bury my face back in my pillow and try my hardest to gain some more sleep.

"Really Ana? What happened to "I'm fun Ana now, Yippee -Kie –Yay,?" She says mimicking a whiny voice.

I turn my face slowly in the most dramatic manner I can manage. I spend at least 30 seconds turning my face.

"First I don't talk like that. Second I don't recall ever saying Yippiee-Kie-Yay." I grunt as my eye's come in contact with the sunlight as I sit up and rest my head against the head board.

"I'm up now, what's the matter?"

She smiles and show's me a cheeky grin. I can't help but smirk a bit. Her smile always hit's me, it's infectious.

"So remember the guy I told you about? Well I think it's safe to say he's more than just a guy now."

"Wow beautiful. That's touching really, now can I get more sleep?"

She rolls her eyes and stands up to rummage through my closet.

"Not done Ana. So he wants me to hang at his house today he's bringing his brother and he told me to bring someone for his brother…."

I shake my head and kneel on my bed closer to the edge.

"No no no. Think again I am not up for a blind date."

She shakes her head and glances at me over her shoulder.

"Relax I knew you would say no, that's why I'm bringing Melisa. She was up for it."

"So I fit in all this how…" I ask eyeing her.

She pulls out a shirt and holds it over me evaluating it. God Kate what do you have in store.

"You fit in because you are going to be my moral support. Your coming I want you to meet my new hubby. And before you decline…. Well you can't because I already said you will be and he's cooking for five."

I open my mouth to protest but decide against it. It's not like I have plans any way. If I don't go I would just end up stuck here in the house wallowing in self pity, and writing in my journal.

"Fine. I'll be there."

She hugs me and walks backwards slowly.

"Love you lots. I'm going to go now before you change your mind babes."

I smile as I see her leave. Same old Kate.

I decide since I'm already up how about a page in my Journal Eh? Might as well right?

_ In the world there are the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. _

_You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them, because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do._

_ Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Today I feel like I'm one step closer to breaking through my shell and changing. I long for a difference for a reason for change. _

_ Little did I know that I can't sit waiting forever. I must take matter's in to my own hands. One step at a time. _

* * *

As me and Kate walk up to Elliot's front door I'm glad I've gotten out today. I've stuck with a casual look. A yellow T shirt, and some jeans will do, I really don't feel like getting all fancy to hang out.

The door opens and we are welcomed by a good looking, well built, adorable man. Dimples grace his cheeks as he smiles at the sight of Kate.

He embraces her in a tight hug along with some kissing. God talk about change. There is definitely some change in Kate here I mean he's making her all… adorable and cute.

When they pull back and Kate looks at me I see her cheek's turn into a coral color. Fucking shit. Kate is smirking?! That's a first.

"Ana this is Elliot, Elliot Ana." I smile and head for a hand shake which he kindly gives back.

Heading in I can already hear Melisa's babbling. So she's here, now for this brother.

I turn the corner and am surprised to see none other than Christian Grey. Talk about a fucking Coincidence.

Once he catches my eye none other than his famous all teeth showing, panty dropping smile is displayed on his face. I can't help but smile back. This will definitely be a more interesting night.

"Look what we've got here." He says coming up to me.

"Hmm. Having fun with Blondie?" He raises a challenging brow and smirks.

"A blast. Although I can admit blondes aren't my choice per say. What Jealous of a little competition?"

I laugh sarcastically and tap him on the shoulder.

"You know me so well Grey."

Kate and Elliot join us and look at us confused.

"I'm guessing you two know each other?" Elliot states.

Still looking at me Christian replies.

"As a matter of fact we do…. Very well." I arch my brow and reply also.

"Something like that. Nothing special." I say smiling.

"Ouch." He says as I walk past him and enter the living room.

* * *

Dinner went well, better than I would of expected. There was no awkward silence just regular normal chit chat. Of course with all of Melisa's talking she basically filled in the gaps.

"So Ana what are you majoring in?" Elliot asks curiously.

We are all gathered in the living room. Everything had mellowed down, and we are all enjoying a glass of wine.

"Publishing." I state boldly.

I get a questioning look from Christian who had Melisa attached to him like a bug by the way. God she is like a fucking slug, she's acting so clingy.

"Funny. You don't strike me as one to go into publishing." Christian say's before taking a sip of his wine.

"And what do I strike you as?" I ask cocking my head a little to the side awaiting his answer.

"Business woman. Definitely." He says sure of himself.

"Not everyone is a tycoon as yourself Grey." Kate chimes in playfully.

That causes Christian to laugh a bit before he continues to talk.

"I'm serious thought. You seem so determined, bold, straight forward." He says.

I can't help but smile coyly and stare into my wine cup a bit before Melisa decides to talk.

"She used to be way more fun seriously. After her mom died she became all boring and gloomy. Oh well I guess death does that to you." We all stare at Melisa with the most "did you really fucking say that you dumb ass" look.

"I say that with total sensitivity Ana." I shake my head and smile trying to forget it.

Kate still continues to glare at her and shake her head. I can see she is embarrassed well good. It serves her right.

"Your mom passed? I'm so sorry." Says Elliot looking sympathetic.

"Eh it's okay. Life sucks anyway." I finish the rest of my wine and decide I need to get away from the little charade.

"I think I'll go get some wine." I get up and head into the kitchen before faintly hearing Christian say's he needs a refill too.

I refilled my wine glass, and set it down on the island before letting out a gasp.

Christian grabbed me and pressed me to the wall covering my mouth with his hand. He pointed to his ear implying that they are listening. No doubt they are trying to ease drop. Nosy people.

I suddenly feel his hand roaming over my ass before I know that he is just reaching for my phone.

"So Anastasia, you know what you're going to be doing after college?" He asks while typing something out on my phone.

"You know I might just apply for some interns." I say keeping my gaze locked on the phone.

He then shows me what he wrote.

**_I'm Fucking bored, can we please get out of here?_**

"Have you thought of my company?" He asks as he hands me the phone so I can reply.

**_How? Don't you think they'll be suspicious? What about Melisa?_**

"I'll pass on that one Grey." I say making him frown at me. I pass the phone over to him and watch as he types.

**_You leave first I'll follow soon after make up something about work. Melisa? She talks more than I can listen. Like I said not my kind of girl._**

I smirk and look up at him through my lashes as he stares down at me.

**_Deal Grey._**

He smirks as we head back into the living room obviously satisfied with my answer. We both reclaim our spots and I drink my Wine as I listen to their conversation.

"So how did you too meet?" Melisa ask Kate and Elliot.

"Weeeeeelllllllllll It's not really appropriate." Kate says flushing and turning to Elliot before he starts kisses her neck.

My phone buzzes and I see that it's Christian who texted.

**_You might want to hurry the process along I really don't want to witness my brother having sex._**

I chuckle and everyone looks at me.

"Sorry guys I really need to go now." I can't really think of an explanation so I just leave as quickly as I can.

I get a weird WTF look from Kate but I just shove it off.

I have been walking for less than ten minutes before I see Christian roll up next to me. What was I even thinking walking? How am I going to walk from here to my house?

"You didn't think I let you walk home all alone did you?" he says as he pulls to a stop.

I smile and get into the car.

"So… Where to tall dark and handsome." I say with dramatically making him laugh.

"Where ever you wish." He replies grinning.

* * *

"Why does this shit always happen?!" I say groggily as I rub my head in pain.

"At least you're not the one with whip cream all over you." Christian states smirking at me.

I pick myself up from the floor and notice now I am only in my bra and panties. Seriously?

I wipe at my mouth and fine whip cream on my hand. WTF!

"Christian what the fuck did we do last night?" As I look at him shocked.

God nothing good comes from hanging out with Christian Grey. Not to mention the fact that I always end up half naked. Does the act to put on some pants completely escape me?

"We came back drunk, with all of my expensive stuff might I add, you said you wanted a Sunday, You shot's and whip cream off of me, stole my shirt and passed out on the floor." He stated nonchalantly, before standing up.

"Great to know I have no self control." I mutter heading into the bathroom.

However drunk I was I could of sworn I left my phone in here and that's a fact. I try to find it but it's no use. I hear Christian whistle as he holds up my phone dangling it.

I sigh and go to retrieve it unfortunately he is not letting it happen. When I finally get hold of it I notice he is on the bed with me on top of him straddling him.

"Loving the view here." He says with a dark gleam in his eyes.

I laughed and got off of him and head back to the bathroom checking my messages on the way. One message from Olivia.

**_Really? Where the hell are you?_**

I laugh I can just picture her saying that. I throw my phone on his sink before trying to make due with my hair with a brush on his counter. I can't do shit with it thought causing Christian to laugh and do it for me.

He brushes out the knots before braiding it neatly down my back.

"You're good at this." I say softly.

"What can I say, I have had practice." I smile and rolled my neck around trying to crack it or sooth the tension.

"Let me." He says.

Suddenly his hands are on my neck and he starts to massage is causing me to moan in pleasure. He is helping relax my shoulder, and he is doing one hell of a job.

He then stops and wraps his arms around me pulling my back to him while kissing my neck. I sigh softly and lean into his kiss.

"Christian." I say trying to get his attention.

"You need to stop tempting me." He says between kisses.

I smile and turn to him looking down at his chest. There is still whipped cream going down to his hips. I don't remember anything from licking it off of him last night, and what a shame it was. I might as well finish the job.

I lean in and run my tongue first along his jaw taking licking up the excess cream there. I then moved to lick off the smudge of whipped cream left on his lips.

It was only when he sat me on the sink that I noticed what I was really doing. I could hear his heavy breathing, and occasional grunts. I didn't stop there thought.

I then trail my tongue down his stomach through his navel to his hip making sure to get off all the whipped cream.

When I finished I looked him in his eye leaning in with a smirk plastered on my face. He then leaned in a licked my lip stopping when I leaned in his ear to whisper, "Yum, my very own Sunday."

"You little Vixen, are you sure you're a virgin." He asks making me laugh.

"Yes Christian, but us Virgins can still have some fun."

He pulled me off the sink and twirled me around causing me to laugh.

"Christian!" I yelled.

"You really love yelling my name don't you?" He smirked.

"Bite me." I snap at him playfully.

"Oh I plan on it."

* * *

Did that give you guys a better feel of their relationship? What do you think now? Like or No? Feedback is needed. Before you guys start to think Melisa will go all bat shit like everyone else in the fifty shades story No. She will probably be jealous but that's it. She just tends to say things that are hurtful. I added some dominant inside jokes. The brushing the hair into a braid, is it familiar?


	7. Chapter 7

Here is a new chapter. I notice I've lost alot of favorites and that got me sad. If you would just stay I'm sure you would of liked it but i guess not every one is open minded they chose to read the same plot. For those of you who remained reading thankyou. If you have any questions you can PM me or comment and i will answer you.

* * *

I awake to fingers softly brushing my cheek and hair.

I flutter my eyes open and am faced with piercing grey ones. I turn to the clock and see it's 2:00. Guess someone can't sleep.

I take his fingers off my face and kiss each of them, while he smiles at me.

"Can't sleep in your castle Mr. Grey." I ask him.

He smiles and I let him go once he pulls back to take off his shoes socks and pants. He looks at me and I pull back the covers waiting for him to join me. He smiles and enters without hesitation.

I scooted over a bit to give him some space but to my surprise he pulled me back against his body wrapping his arms around me.

I could feel his breath on my neck and his body relax and I brush my fingers through his arm hair.

"You seem tentative tonight." I say, but get no answer.

He continues to snuggle in to me and inhale my hair while rubbing his nose against my back.

"Are you okay?" I ask noticing that he isn't his usual self.

"Mhmm. Now I am." He says before he pulls me against him more and we fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

"Shit, shit , shit." I say hopping on one foot as I try to put on my boot as quickly as possible.

"Christian get your ass… Up." I say throwing my pillow at him.

His eyes open and he looks around before throwing himself up.

"We slept in?" He asks as he tries to get his pants on quickly.

"Yes we did. I didn't even notice it until I got up and now I am fucked." I say as I brush my hair.

"I haven't slept that good in….. Actually I don't think I've ever slept that good." Christian says deep in thought.

"Who's brooding now? It's not good for wrinkles you know." I say making him smile and shake his head.

"Listen tonight be ready at 8:00. I'll have a dress sent to you." He says nonchalantly as he buckles his watch.

"And why am I going to be getting dressed?" I say as I take off my shirt and put on a freshly new one.

"Because you... Are my date." He says as he slips on his jacket and watches me.

I start to button up my shirt and get frustrated and stop. Christian laughs and comes over to button it up for me.

"I'm fine with that but I don't need you to buy me a dress Christian, I am perfectly capable of buying myself a dress." I say as I watch him button my shirt up.

"I understand that. But I'm buying you one anyway you can be all independent and stubborn some other time, but for now just think of it as a thank you." He says as he starts to button the ones near my breast.

"A thank you for what?" I ask curiously.

He moves back and looks at me with my buttons showing my cleavage.

"I think you should just go like this." He says eyeing me up and down.

I laugh and shake my head as I look in the mirror and start to button up the remainder of my shirt. He comes up behind me and his face goes serious.

"A thank you for being an escape from my stressful life." He says as he watches me through the mirror intently.

I swallow and try to not look him in the eye.

"Ditto." I say as I finish buttoning the shirt and smooth it down with my hands.

He comes up behind me and smiles softly. I turn to face him as he pushes a stray piece of hair out of my face.

"Fine. Only because that was sweet what you said. Nothing expensive Christian seriously I will probabably only use it for one night of my life. I don't care if you can afford it."

"Well if I haveeeee to," he drags out dramatically, "Though you'll be worth every penny."

I smile softly as he leans in and kisses me on my nose, then he grabs the back of my head to kiss my forehead.

"Eight." He says before he leaves.

"Eight." I repeat as I watch him go out of my door.

A couple of seconds later I hear the door close and I throw myself on my bed. Hell I'm already late so just stay there a just think.

I don't know what's been coming over me but I know it feels good. I get this feeling when I'm wish Christian this overwhelming need to keep him in my life. I love spending time with him; this is the first thing that's been going good in my life for a while.

I take out my journal and decided to write a quick entry.

_Absence._

_I've never really had someone permanent in my life. My life is filled with absence and fear of letting people in because they always seem to leave me._

_It's why I don't think too much of Christian. I'm afraid to let myself all the way in, only to get hurt when he leaves._

_Right now we are friends and I couldn't be happier with our relationship, but I think what I'm feeling may be more than friendship._

_I don't have experience with boys and feelings but I pretty sure these emotions I'm filled with when I am with him will escalate and I just don't want to lose what we have._

_My motive in life is to find someone who is here to stay._

_I just don't know if that's where this relationship is going._

_And I'm afraid that I won't recover._

* * *

"Alright everyone pass your papers to the front of the room."

We all pass up our papers towards the front of the classroom and we pack up our belongings to go home.

"Ms. Steele can I please see you down here." Mr. Adams says.

I furrow my brow, why would he want to see me. When the class clears out I move towards the front of the class and swing my bad over my shoulder.

"Yes Mr. Adams." I say.

I need to be home soon it's 5:30 and I need to see Christian at eight so I really need to start getting ready.

"I wanted to talk to you about your pervious paper. I though personally it was phenomenal. You had a good argument, your points were clear you supported your argument with cold hard facts, you made it different and it caught my attention."

I smile and blush. I didn't get any help from Mr. Billionaire either so this is all my work.

"Thank you. I worked really hard on it." I say confidently.

_He smiles and leans against his desk._

"I can see that, especially by the quality of your work I wouldn't of expect anything less. Tell me have you ever thought of getting into business?"  
"Well not up until recently I have had people tell me I would make a great business woman." I smile back at when Christian told me that.

"Well I couldn't agree more; think you would have a great future in the business world." He says.

He moves around to the other side of his desk and retrieves something from his cabinet.

"Which is why I signed you up to be one of the students who get to go to New York for a week for a business convention. Here is the slip right here if you would like to go the spot is all your. Its next month, so you have plenty of time to think about it. But I highly recommend you take this opportunity I know your majoring in publishing but hey you should keep your options open. I think you have a have a lot of potential if you chose to persuade with this career."

I smile and look down at the slip. Who knows I might actually go through with it, it can be good for me.

"Thank you, I will definitely consider it." I give him one last smile and leave.

When I go outside y phone buzzes and I see it's a text from Christian.

**_I sent the dress to be delivered at your home but they said you weren't there. Where are you, are you okay?  
_**I bite my lip and think about whether I should tell Christian or not. I mean it's not like I have to tell him and I'm not sure I'll even go.

I decided against it but can't help but feel a little guilty.

**_Everything's fine. Got held up in school, going straight home now._**

I slip the paper in my bag and shake off the guilty feeling. I'm sure it's nothing that would interest him.

* * *

**What do you think? Ana's feelings are escalating but nothing extreme. What do you think about Ana's possible future trip? Do you think it will cause problems? Maybe it will lure out the possessive, jealous Christian? Next chapter will be a Christian POV, do you want that?**


	8. Chapter 8

**So i've changed some things about the trip. She has a week to decide not a month, and the trip will last for two weeks not one week**.

* * *

SONGS FOR THE CHAPTER:

Blue Foundation - Eyes on fire

Kings Of Leon - Closer

I open the door to my home to a sight that is certainly not pretty.

"Olivia!" I yell and quickly turn my face around and try to stifle my laugh.

I saw Olivia looking very much naked with a man doing some very naughty things.

Olivia covers herself with a nearby pillow and her little play buddy runs to the bathroom.

I turn cautiously and she looks very uncomfortable. Well the feeling is mutual.

"Yea remind me to burn that pillow." I tell her smiling a bit.

"Listen.." She starts but I shake my head and hold a hand up to stop her.

"No need. But I'm definitely off the hook then?" I ask and she nods her head.

"Good, because that was not pretty."

She laughs and nods her head.

"Imagine how I felt." I put on a , "Come on. Really" face and stare at her.

"I'm pretty sure me a Christian had all of our clothes on, and we definitely were not doing what you two were doing…. What... What were you doing anyway? I never saw that position was it like a mix of 69 and…"

"Okay... That enough of the sex talk with you." She said looking very uncomfortable now.

I stood there waiting for her to tell me who the guy was and look at her expectantly.

"What Ana, god are you going to stand there looking at me all day?"

I change my stance and arch my brow.

"As much as the offer is tempting because as my aunt may I say you look hot. But you know what I'm waiting for. Who was Mr. Run off to the bathroom?" I say to her popping out my hip.

"Goddddd…. Can we Pleaseee not talk about this right now?"

I arch my brow further and cock my head.

"Fine… Well he... Remember Mr. Ass face?" She says.

My eyes go wide with shock and I look to the bathroom and point with my mouth hanging wide open.

"You and Mr. Ass face? Wow Olivia, you sure seem mad at him." I say laughing.

"Yea can we please stop calling him that now? And yes not anymore…. God I'm a total push over. And look at the example I'm sending you, not good." She puts her head down ashamed and I grab an apple from the kitchen.

"It's okay Olivia honesty. I didn't expect you to be a saint. Besides he's cute." I state taking a bite out of the apple.

"I know right. He's so hot." She says clutching the pillow to her.

"Plus he has a nice butt from what I saw." I say boldly.

She looks at me her eyes wide and pushes me up the stairs.

"Go. Shoo. That was enough embarrassment for one day. Go I promise by the time you come down there will be no sign of this little fiasco." She says swatting my butt to make me go faster.

"By the way, a signed a package for you, it's in your room." Oh shit, Christians package.

I run to my room and open the box. I take out a long, beautiful chiffon baby pink dress with a sweetheart cut. There's a slit down the leg revealing my long legs.

I smile and decide on a bath for starters. I mean I don't want to stink.

I spend extra time shaving my legs twice, and my arms and basically any part of my body that has hair. I clean my face, and wash my hair.

Once I'm out I go to my normal routine and blast some music. This always helps my mood and I enjoy it.

I first go to my makeup. Nothing too much, yet I don't want to look like I have nothing.

I moisturize my face and apply my makeup on. I go with some gold, brown, pinks. It looks good on me I'm surprised I've never really had a steady hand.

I go to my hair next. Blow dry, Comb, and curl. I pin the curls to one side, and am satisfied with my look.

I slip on my dress and shoes, and before I know it, it's time.

"A, Christians here." My aunt calls from down the stairs. I smile and pick up my phone.

"Send him up." I call out and all too soon, I'm approached with a breath taking Christian Grey.

"Anastasia. You never seize to amaze me." He says eyeing me up and down.

"You Christian," I eye him up and down, "Look exceptional." I say with a smirk.

I go up to him and adjust his tie while he grabs hold of my hips.

"This dress suits you, if I say so myself. And this," He says as he grabs a hold of my ass and stares at me," Looks so….. Perky in this dress. I like." He says leaning in closer to me put I move my head to the side and make him kiss my cheek.

"Not goanna happen." I say with a smile.

"Bitch." He says his eyes wide and a smirk playing on his face.

"I'm not a bitch. I'm the bitch. And to you I'm Ms. Bitch." I say as I fix up suit, and smooth it down.

"Is that so?" He says cocking his head to the side.

"Mhmm. And you might want to be nice to me tonight or this bitch might just poison your food." I say keeping my attention on his tux.

"Yes mam." He says smiling.

"Christian Grey always the flirt." I say as I check myself in the mirror.

"What can I say it's in my nature. But with you I'll try to simmer down. I mean so what if your fucking gorgeous, or if you're the most interesting woman I met, right?" He says playing with one of my curls.

I turn to face him and deicide to play along.

"Yea. And so what if you're like the most hottest man I've ever met, or if your also one of the best men I've ever met." I say clutching his tux.

He starts to lean in and I think what the hell. One for the road?

We end up kissing. It's slow and sensual with no tongue involved.

He pulls back first and laughs.

"Not goanna happen?" He says.

I shake my head.

"Correction. Never goanna happen starting now." He laughs and start to look at my pictures on my mirror before taking one.

I try to take it back but he puts it in his tux and fixes himself up.

"Unlike you Ms. Steele I know better than to say never."

I grab my perfume and spray myself.

"How do I smell?" I ask as I lean in closer so he can smell my neck.

"Mmmmm. You smell….. Delicious." He says smirking.

I swat him playfully and we head out of my room, and down the stairs.

All the happiness fades from my mind at once, and I can only remember one thing. The letter.

Christian senses, I don't know how, that something is bothering me.

He stops on the stairs and goes one step under me.

"What's wrong?" He says a frown forming between his brows.

"It's nothing." I say trying to go past him.

He stops me and grabs hold of my arms looking deeply in to my arms.

"This…," He says nodding his head in my direction," Is not nothing. What's the matter?"

I breathe deeply and hold on to his shoulder.

"I don't want to ruin the night. I promise I'll tell you later. Let's just enjoy the night first." I say trying to reassure him.

He looks very unsure, and I know he wants to push the subject but instead I grab him and walk us to his car.

I don't know how he will react. But I really want to just enjoy the night.

XXX

We have been here for about an hour or so. I'm not keeping count I'm just enjoying myself. I'm having fun mingling with Christian's friends.

Of course it doesn't hurt getting all these compliments either. You look beautiful Anastasia. Who's your gorgeous friend? Absolutely stunning. I've heard it all tonight.

I head to the bar and see Christian there talking to a woman. I smile seeing how she is basically putty in his presence. Yea he does that sometimes.

I go to the bar and order some Nuvo.

As I get my drink and take a sip, I see one of the people I was introduced to come to me.

"Anastasia was it?" He asks smiling, dimples shining through.

"Yea. And you are…. Alex?" I say trying to recall his name.

"Yes that's right. This was probably the first time all night I've caught you alone. Would you like to dance?" He says holding out his hand.

I put my drink down and smile.

"I would be glad to." I say as I take his hand.

He guides me to the dance floor, and is quick to pull me close to him, and when I say close, I mean close.

I smile a place my hand on his shoulder, and the other in his hand.

"You know you are really, really, stunning don't you." Is smile, and look at the other partners dancing.

"So I've been told." I say lightly.

"It's appalling really how you don't seem to know that."

I turn to look at him, and turn my head slightly.

"Quite the flirt are we now." I say smiling.

He smiles back lightly, and starts to stare at something behind me.

I turn my head lightly to find Christian there staring at Alex.

"Um.. Um the dance was lovely Anastasia. I'll leave you to get back to your date." He says before running off.

Geeze. I stumble back a bit and scoff shaking my head.

"Bye to you to Alex." I murmur.

Christian takes Alex place and we continue to dance.

"I leave you alone for a minute and you move on already?" He says smirking a bit.

"Well you were occupied and I wanted to dance." I say looking around the room.

"Well I'm not occupied anymore." He says making me turn to him.

"I can see that." I say sarcastically.

His phone rings and he opens it and picks it up.

"GREY." He snaps. Gosh so mean.

"FUCK!" He hisses and slams the phone shut.

I stare at him and he runs his hands through his hair and turns around staring off into the distance.

"Christian." I say he turns around.

"Listen Ana I have to take care of some shit that just came up. I'm so sorry I will send Taylor to take you home. I'll see you tomorrow."

He says he looks hesitant to leave but quickly kisses my cheek and leaves.

What, the fuck, just happened? That's all I get no explanation? Whatever, he's my friend and he needed to go, so I respect him.

I look around and see I'm on the dance floor alone. Really? I mean at least he could of walked me to the bar, god dammit.

A dance song comes on, and I shrug and start to dance by myself. What's so wrong about it, I have fun by myself than I do with more people so fuck it right?

People start to look at me with weird looks so I give them dirty look back. Really oh yea so classy make fun of the girl dancing by herself.

I start to think as I finally walk back to the bar and order another drink.

I was supposed to tell him tonight about the letter.

Well I don't need to we are just friends; I don't need to tell him everything.

Still he is your friend, I'm sure you would want to know something like that from him.

Well we are pretty close; I'd say Kate has some competition. I should tell him then for the sake of our friendship. I don't think he'd be happy about be running off.

You're thinking too much into it. Your JUST FRIENDS he wouldn't care that much.

"Ms. Steele?"

My inner war has been interrupted my Taylor. I totally forgot he was supposed to take me home. I smile and finish my drink before going back with him to the car.

Once in the car I can't stop myself from worrying about Christian. He seemed really upset, and I've never seen him like that.

"Taylor." I say loudly.

He seems startled by my outburst and he looks at me through the rear view mirror.

"Yes mam?" He says cautiously.

God I didn't mean to scare him, but if I didn't say his name quickly I would of stopped myself from saying anything at all, and I would never know what happened with him.

"Where is Christian?" I say, sitting up straighter.

"At Escala mam." He says confused.

"First can you please stop with the mam already, and second can you please take me to Escala as well."

I state. It wasn't a question it was an order. I need to see him; I need to be there for whatever was eating him up.

"Umm… Yes Ms. Steele." He says looking defeated.

Wow big change from mam to Ms. Steele. The bastard found a loop hole.

The drive to Escala is quick and fast. Once there we enter the elevator, and that ride goes quickly as well.

I open the door and see that Christian isn't here. I scan most of the apartment and see he isn't there either.

I finally go to his bed room. Relief floods through me when I see him there. Shirt off pants and shoes on. He has his head in his hands as he sits on the edge of the bed. All the lights are off the only light is the blue light from the window.

I open the door and step in next to him. He notices my presence but doesn't say anything. What the fuck is going on?

I stand in front of him but I don't really know if I should touch him or not.

Taking off my shoes quickly, I pick up my dress so I won't trip, and I sit on the bed. I am faced only with his back.

"Christian." I say lightly not knowing how to approach him.

He doesn't answer.

"Hey. You left with so much as an explanation. I'm your friend Christian."

Still no answer. I sigh. God his defensive mechanism is just as worst as mine.

I kneel on his bed and go closer to him placing my hand on his shoulder, and smelling his hair.

His whole body tenses, but he remains quiet.

I start to massage his neck, and kiss the back of his head.

"You can trust me Christian." I whisper to him as I continue to rub his neck.

"Just tell me what's wrong." I say again.

He moans and rolls his head back. I grab hold of his head and kiss his forehead and his head as he hangs his head down.

"I'm so fucking stressed out Anastasia." He finally says his head still hanging down.

I run my hand up his neck; I line his jaw, and finally run them through his hair. I move closer to him, while I'm on my knees.

"God Anastasia. There are only a couple of things going good in my life, and your one of them."

I am quickly filled with guilt once again, and I climb off the bed and stand in front of him.

"Listen Christian. I have to tell you something." I tell him.

His head goes up and he looks at me. He sits up straight and stares at me.

"I…. I was offered a trip to New York from one of my professors. Its next week and I'll be gone for two weeks." I say slowly watching his reaction.

"What?" He says standing up. I can see the frown forming again. There is only about an inch between us.

"Christian, I really think it would be a good opportunity to take it. I just wanted to let you know." I say carefully.

He shakes his head and turns his back to me as he stares at the view of Seattle.

"Hey." I say holding his bicep as I try to turn him to me. He doesn't budge though.

"Hey." I say more forcefully, as I use my other hand to hold his cheek and turn him to face me.

"Listen Christian a two weeks will go by before you know it okay. I just… I wanted to let you know since we've basically been with each other every day for the past month."

He looks sad. Nervous even. Why would he be nervous?

"Do you know how fucking dangerous New York is? And who is this professor? Do you know him well enough?" He spits.

I look at him taken aback.

"Yes I know him Christian. And every place in the world is dangerous so New York is really no different."

He shakes head.

"You really are so fucking stubborn. Whatever Anastasia. I've got so much stress on me right now the last thing I need is to worry about is this shit." Really this shit?

"Wow. Okay so I wanted to make sure your okay, and I'm shit now."

I shake my head before picking up my shoes and running out of the house.

XXX

Once I get to my house I throw my shoes on the floor, and go to the kitchen.

I don't even know why I'm getting so pissed. This feeling he has been giving me is really getting stronger by the minute. He's turning me into a fragile, sensitive bitch.

I can't stop the angry tears that run down my face. I take out whine and a glass and pour myself a large cup.

Taking a sip I hear my phone ring and see it's Christian.

"Oh called to make me feel bad some more?" I say angrily.

"Could you get over it already? I'm fucking pissed, I'm sorry for what I said."

"Yea because you sound so sorry." I scoff.

"I have a lot of things on my mind Anastasia I don't need another problem on my hands."

"Oh so now I'm a problem. Real smooth Grey." I say sarcastically.

"Why do you keep twisting my words?" He says exasperated?

"I'm simply stating what I hear."

"I don't get why you're even mad. We are friends; friends say things they don't mean sometimes."

"Yea well maybe that's the problem." I say more to myself than him.

I realize it more than ever now. I'm falling for him. But I'm so fucking pissed that I ever let myself fall for him so hard. We will never be more than friends.

"What did you say?" He asks.

I cut him off by ending the call and putting it in the glass of wine. I will definitely regret that but at this point I could give to shits.

"Umm, Ana." My aunt says standing in the doorway.

One look at my tear stained face and she quickly comes to soothe me.

"I'm falling for him Olivia. I'm falling for him hard."

* * *

What do you think? Suggest some things, comment, Pm me.


	9. Chapter 9

Long chapter to make up for the lack of writing this past week. For those who dont know i did make chapter nine yet it failed to save and i just lost inspiration. But thats has changed and it's posted up again.

* * *

**SONGS:**

**Blue foundation - eyes on fire**

**Kings of leon - Cold desert**

I spent the remainder of the night crying on Olivia's shoulder, while she tried to soothe me.

It's pathetic really how I'm mourning over something that was never really there. Why am I even mourning?

It's not as if Christian died or left, he is just a phone call away.

I am putting myself through this misery to keep my pride. My own stubbornness is interfering with our relationship.

He isn't even to blame. He is clueless, blind, of the fact that I love him. As far as he knows we are just friends who tend to kiss, and get a little too friendly.

But I know for a fact I will never tell him, because I know the outcome of it all. We will never be more, he doesn't feel for me the way I feel for him.

It sucks since our friendship was going so well. It was going to well, that I was just waiting for it to end. Nothing good lasts in my life, and I guess I just expected it to end someday.

But the ride was good while it lasted, right? Of course there is always the voice saying bullshit, you're not giving him a chance, you're pushing him away like you always do.

It could be right but why risk it? I don't want to go through any more pain than I've been through in life. Right now it ended well, I have good memories and I don't want to taint those memories by trying to push for us to be something more, only to get rejected.

Me and Christian were too touchy feely to be just friends, yet not as intimate to be more than friends. We were just like wedged in the middle.

It was different, refreshing at best. We had something people wanted, something to hold on to. We were close like best friends, but there was always the physical attraction that was too powerful to ignore.

I guess I never wanted to take that next step and try, only to break something so special. I tried to keep it just friendly, I tried to set boundaries, but it's just too damn hard when it comes to Christian.

He always manages to keep me on my toes, to keep me interested and excited, and anticipated what's next. His mood swings made things a challenge but kept things alive.

In a sense it was new for both of us. And I hate talking about our relationship in a past tense but I know I don't want to let him in any further.

I hate it because he has made me this sensitive, mushy, girl. I'm no longer the strong self made woman. He broke me down, made me experience something different and new.

I'm weak now, and the weak can never forgive, or apologize. That is the attribute of the strong. I can not suck it up and face him out of fear, and humiliation.

No longer do I take risks, and pretend not to care, because ever since Christian came I do care now. I care of what he thinks and sees in me, no matter how much I deny it.

It's cold hard fact. And I need to face that reality that I have changed because of love. Love that conjured up in a span of a month. I would have never thought, but it just snuck up on me.

It was out of my control. The depth of feeling I feel for him, is enough to make me scared.

I've only known him for a short amount of time, but it was enough time for me to break down his barriers and study him.

Christian has a domineering personality. He screams control, no bullshit, and force. He's a man who is not only used to but is accustomed to having things as he says. It's rare, foreign even to have someone challenge him as I do.

Power is his weakness and his temptation. It's what he runs on, it's him. He needs it. I've learned that about him, and I try to test his limit as well as exercise his ability to not have control at his beck.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, if you want to test a man's character; you have to give him power.

And he did the same to me. He saw passes my shell, pass my walls. He broke me down as well, and let himself him without so much as a warning.

It was out of my control, which is also something I too am familiar with. I've lost far too much, so control is necessary for me, I don't let people in, I keep them at arm's length, that's how I go about.

However Christian had other ideas and eased me into trusting him. Trusting him with myself, something I haven't done in a long time.

That's what makes our relationship special in my eyes. The fact that we made such an impact on each other.

A motto I live by was you can't let praise or criticism get to you; it's a weakness to get caught up in either one.

Yet each day I spent with him, I've let his praise and criticism get to me, with such impact that I've never felt before.

We are all human and mortal; we are the sum of our weak and strong moments. It creates us, as well as characterizes us.

As I stand here and pack up my I come across a plain white T- shirt, Christians shirt. All my thought wander off to Christian suddenly.

**~~~ Flashback ~~~**

_The_ _morning light dimmed through my windows forcing me to wake. The light was heavy on my eyes, making me wince as I turned away. My movement set another in motion it seemed, as someone else moved with me._

_I peek open my eyes, invited with the sight of copper locks sprawled out all over my stomach. Is smiled happily when I notice it's him, Christian laying there his head on my stomach._

_His messy mop of copper hair blinding me of his face, but once he turned his head upright a bit, I smiled when I was welcomed with a sight of his face._

_He looks so at ease, a side I never really see of him. He looks relaxed, and calmed. My fingers found his face as I gently dragged the back of my fingers along his face up to his hair, memorizing every detail, his face, his skin, him._

_His eyes opened and I was lost in the compelling eyes of Christian. The intense Grey that never ceased to amaze me, no matter how many times I looked into them. The eyes that managed to lure me in, and keep my gaze locked on his._

_He gives me a soft smile his hand spread across my bare stomach – it seemed he lifted up my shirt to my chest in his sleep – I sigh in approval._

_"Morning." I say gently. His smile suddenly drops and he looks unsure and disbelieving._

_"Anastasia?"_

_My smile dropped quickly, and I take in a breathe. He never calls me by my full name unless it's something serious._

_"Y-Yeah?" I ask cautiously._

_He suddenly sits upright and looks around , as if confused, or denial. Once it dawns on him he suddenly runs to the bathroom, closing the door behind him –something we never do.-_

_I sit up confused by the recent turn of events. Does anyone want to let me in on what the hell just happen? I have some thoughts but it's just wishful thinking, it's just my imagination getting the best of me._

_**~~~ End Flashback ~~~**_

"Hey… How you doing?" My aunt says as she leans against the door, arms crossed, a look of worry etched across her face.

I'm broken out of my reverie and shake my head a little to get out of my daze.

I keep my attention focused on my packing, trying not to worry her.

"I'll live." I reply while folding my clothes, and placing them neatly in the suit case.

She comes near me and closes the case forcing me to look at her.

"Don't give me that Ana. You don't need to hide your feelings and put up this wall, not with me. Now… how are you… really?" She says sitting on my bed.

I sigh and turn to face her. I try to mask all the mixed emotions I've been feeling, but fail miserably.

"Honestly," I say watching as she nods," I feel like… Like all my emotional truths are conveyed more efficiently more compellingly when I'm with him. I feel confused Aunt Olivia. I've never felt something so good. I've been so used to getting abandoned and hurt that I've been forced to say I'm used to it. But Christian… Christian changed all of that. He handles me at my worst and put up with me. He earns to see me at my best, it like… I can't even sleep anymore because finally reality is better than my dreams. It's this throbbing sense of emotion I feel when I'm with him. It's unreal; he thrills me just by kissing my head, or holding my head, or just seeing him. It's so overwhelming, and I just… I'm confused. I just these feelings could die down, so things could be easier."

I sit in exhaustion, and look at my aunt expectantly. She smiles and grasps her hands in mine.

"Ana, love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayal. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. It won't just die down, especially the type of love you're talking about. It's pure, and you shouldn't want it to just die down. You should really try to talk to him, because if you don't your basically punishing not only him but yourself. And haven't you been through enough punishment, don't you think you deserve a break?"

I open my mouth about to say something only for her to stop me. Getting off my bed she stands and says,

"But I know how stubborn you can be. So I'll let you do things by your own accord. Just make sure it's what makes you happy Ana, ok?"

She leans down and kisses my head before leaving my room.

As she leaves my attention is caught up in a picture wedged in the corner of my mirror. A picture of me and my mother.

_**~~~ Flashback ~~~**_

_"Which one do you think I should wear?" I say holding up both dresses in the mirror, while evaluating them._

_"Oh honey I'm sure which ever you wear will look beautiful on you." My mother says. Before she could continue she starts to cough immensely causing me to drop the dresses and attend to her side._

_"Oh god mom I'm being so selfish. Are you okay do you need anything?" I say franticly. Here my mother is with cancer and I'm worrying about looks._

_"Nonsense Ana, I do not expect nor do I want you to put your life on hold because I'm dying. We are all bound to die but life goes on sweetie. And stop this bickering about what dress yo will wear for your birthday dinner, you are a beautiful woman you will look beautiful in anything you wear." She says smiling, and running her fingers through my hair._

_I clasp her hands in mine and bow my head down, as a rush of sadness fills me._

_"No mom. It's too early. I just… What if you're not here for my birthday? Your supposed to be there for that, your my mother." Tears fall silently as I prepare for her next words._

_"Baby I know and I'm sorry. But you will not let this get you down Anastasia."_

_I shake my head and squeeze her hand tighter._

_"No. NO this isn't fair. What happens when I have boy problems, or when I need mother advice, or when I just want to see you? I won't be able to handle it mom. I… I don't want to lose you, you can't expect me to be happy about my birthday, when on that day I've spent it with you all my life."_

_"Anastasia Rose Steele. I don't ever want to hear you speak like that. Yes I do expect you to enjoy your birthday, and do you know why Baby girl? Because it is a day to celebrate life, and to be happy to be alive. You have a chance to live, take it, and run with it. Don't hold back because of me. Did you expect me to live forever baby? As far as I know Anastasia your only losing the shell that is me. I'm always going to be there in your heart baby. Always no matter what I'll be there scolding you, and helping you, and loving you. I never want you to feel as if your alone, or you've lost me forever. Nothing can keep a mother away from a daughter, not even death."_

_I Kiss our Intertwined hands and inhale her scent. If I could mask this moment forever I will. It scares me that soon I won't be able to remember this. Her or anything. It will be all but a faint memory that I long to remember._

**~~~ End Flashback ~~~**

I'm awaken from my flashback, as my phone starts to ring loudly.

I see its Kate and pick it up.

"Hey." I say wedging the phone between my head and shoulder as I continue to pack.

"Hey. Really, hey? Don't hey me, when where you going to tell me about your little vacation Steele?"

Oh god, how did I fail to remember to tell Kate? Of course she would find out, she's Kate.

"Who told you?" I ask skeptically, taking the phone in my hand and walking around my room.

"Are you kidding me? That's all you have to say? Well guess what you don't need to know, all you should be doing is chastising yourself for ever keeping something as big as this from your best friend."

"I'm sorry Kate. I just have a lot on my mind, and …. Well I'm sorry. It's only a week, after that I'm all yours, I promise."

"Dam straight you promise. But no need to wait a week, I'm coming over now to pick you up. I want to get my fill of you before you leave me, No if ands or buts. Capeesh?"

Before I get to answer the line goes dead. I laugh and hang up the phone.

Now back to packing. I know I have the perfect button down shirt here somewhere. Where the fuck is it.

I go to rummage through my closet to find the shirt when something catches my attention.

A napkin on the floor, I pick it up and look at it.

_1917- 560- 5698_

_- Josh_

The logo **VIPER** is on the napkin as well. I remember this night, me and Christian with a very fun bet.

**~~~ Flashback ~~~**

_"Oh really Christian? Is that a bet?" I say eyeing him._

_"Yes my dear friend it is. Once it hit's twelve the bet it done, one with the most wins."_

_"Okay, and when I win, which I will… I get to ride your car anywhere I want." I say smiling._

_He smirks at me and arches a brow._

_"Alright. And I'm saying this knowing how reckless you are on the road. That should show the amount of confidence I have that I'm going to win." He says smirking sipping his drink._

_"God your cocky," I say shaking my head," Okay and say if you win, which is unlikely, what do you get?"_

_"A kiss, from you." He says nonchalantly. I arch a brow and nod._

_I drink the rest of my Rum, and place it on the counter._

_"Okay I'm game. Let me just let you know that you are underestimating me. And by the way you're paying for my drink." I say getting off the stool._

_The club is packed and I am feeling very good._

_"I have no doubts that you are good. Now let's put it to the test." He says placing a bill on the counter._

_I eye the club and find the perfect guy, sitting at the other bar… alone. I flip my hair, and perk my boobs up._

_I turn to see Christian eyeing me, and I just smirk, and make my way to the man._

_Christian seems to think I have bad communicating skills. Of course me being stubborn and denial I put him to the test. SO now here we are betting who could get the most numbers._

_I may not be better than Mr. Hot shot, but I'd be damned if I lose._

_I get up and take my seat next to the man._

_"You look like shit." I say._

_He eyes me and stares into his drink, while twirling it lightly._

_"Is it that obvious?" He says._

_"I mean it kind of is. You here at a club, sitting alone at the bar. You just scream get the fuck away from me or I just may have to stab you. So I'm going to go out here on a limb and assume it's a woman."_

_He laughs and takes a sip of his drink._

_"One hundred percent." He turns his head and eye's me curiously._

_"And why may I ask would you approach me if I scream get the fuck away from me or I just may have to stab you, In your words?" He says._

_"Because I'm dangerous like that." I say smiling. I can see a smile playing on his lips._

_"So what happened with this girl?"_

_He sits back in his stool, and gives me a sideway glance, before turning his attention to in front of him._

_"What didn't happen? I mean everything just lost that special touch, and we were just arguing all the time. I just didn't want to deal with all the bickering, I was becoming depressed." He says shaking his head lightly._

_"It came to the point where she didn't turn me on anymore. I mean can you believe she got mad at me for not getting a hard on when she tried to et intimate. She even threaten me with a knife."_

_"Ouch." I say._

_"I know right. I just couldn't do it anymore. I left her… Or more like cheated and came home only to find all my stuff thrown in the street…. In the rain."_

_I start to laugh, and he tries to suppress his smile and fails miserably. He places his elbows on the bar and looks at me._

_"And I'm telling you this, I don't know why."_

_I smile, and place my elbow on the stool, with my head prompted on my hand._

_"I have that affect." I say smiling._

_He shakes his head and signals the waiter to him._

_"SO… are you going to tell me the real reason you decided to come here, r am I going to have to pry it out of you?" He says reaching for his wallet, not looking at me._

_Damn he's good. Fuck me. I slowly pick up my head from my hand and look at him; I guess I should go for the truth._

_"Well you see. I sort of made a bet with a friend and he seems to think, he can get more numbers than me by the end of the night." I say watching his every move, waiting for his reaction._

_The bartender comes and hand him the drink, while the man thanks him. He takes a sip before turning his head to the crowd._

_"You mean your friend who has been eyeing you ever since you came over here?" He says moving his attention back to me._

_I turn and can see Christian doing just as he said. Damn it, this guys is amazing. SO fucking perceptive._

_"Yea. I… I'm sorry." I turn my head a little down._

_"No need. I've been there, done that. So I don't mind helping you out."_

_He takes one of the napkins and jots down his name and number, before handing it to me._

_"Don't worry it's my real name and number. I don't do things half assed, besides this might have been the most interesting night since a while." He says smiling._

_I eye Christian again only to see him turning up the charm on some blonde babe. Fuck me, I need to turn this up a notch._

_I lean in to his ear, and whisper lightly._

_"If you really want to help me, how about we take this game a little further." I say before moving back to gauge his reaction._

_He's smirking and shakes his head lightly._

_"Let's give him a show." He says smiling._

_"Let's." I repeat._

_We start to lean in for a kiss before I get pulled out of my chair and dragged away from my bar friend._

_I am faced with none other than Christian Grey._

_"Game over." He says strictly._

_"Why it was just getting fun!" I pout. Some ones a little jealous I sense._

_"Yea it was before everything got all touchy feely. I thought the rules were to obtain numbers, never did we say to kiss the person." Oh god this is too fun._

_"You know this means I win, and you will have to pass up on that kiss."_

_He looks as if he is having an inner war. Before he arches a brow and smirks._

_"Surely I can sacrifice a kiss, if it means you won't be kissing anyone else."_

_I arch my brow back, and place my hands on his ass._

_I move my hands around a bit, and I can see his breath hitching._

_"Such a good sport, definitely not a sore loser, I like that." I say._

_I find what I'm looking for and pull out his car keys._

_Dangling them in front of his face I smile and say, "Now I believe a car ride was in order for my victory." I say smiling._

_He smirks and shakes his head._

_"You see, and you say I can't flirt. You were just about getting ready to combust there Mr. Grey." I say smiling before he takes my hand and leads me out of the club._

**~~~ End Flashback ~~~**

Yet again I'm awaken from my falshback. I check my phone as it rings loudly, indiacating I'm getting another phone call.

What does Kate want? I think?

"Hello?"

"Hello Anastasia."

Damn it's Christian.

* * *

What do you think? As for the first flashback the reason Christian was acting so weird was because he felt something for ana in that moment and he was indenial. As for my other stories i will post soon it's that i'm like really busy. I just wanted to ask you guys something. SO i'm thinking of writing yet another story will you read it?


	10. Chapter 10

It's been a while yes but i got this out through all the haze of my writers block. I hope it's up to standards mind you it is three thirty in the morning. Just tryed to give you guys something to chew on.

* * *

Heart pounding.

It really got to my head breaking, blocking out everything. Just the sound of his voice shocked me.

Why must I be such an air head an answer the phone without checking the caller I.D when I know I'm avoiding someone?

Well it's too late now.

In the midst of it all I hadn't realize that he didn't say my name all cool and seductively like the normal Christian, but frantic and was that embarrassment?

"Anastasia?!" There it was again?

"This… Isn't her?" I said hoping he would buy it.

My eyebrow arched, my face squinted, and my teeth tugged on my lip. Yes he sounded in need but too bad, he should of thought about not hurting the only friend he has ever had.

"Quit the games Anastasia. I need your… help." He said almost defeated.

"Oh you need my help do you now? Maybe you should have thought of that before. No."

Ha-ha, jokes on you Grey.

"Listen Ana, how many times must I say I'm sorry? I'll do whatever it takes, but now can we put everything aside, I need you to pick me up."

"Mmmmmm… No." I say continuing to pack.

"Anastasia." He scolds.

"Nope." I say.

"Ana."

"No. You my friend can get yourself another friend who is as awesome as me, though I'm sure you would never find one." I address mockingly.

"Anastasia….. Please." And there it was, my heart took over.

His voice, god that fucking voice has gotten to me. I can almost picture his grey soft eyes, pleading. He won me over.

With a large sigh I rub my forehead and take a deep breath.

"Fine Christian, what happened?"

Silence… Wait I think I hear him going to say something….. Nope silence.

"Well are you going to tell me or not?"

"Listen just pick up at that bar we always go too, and I'll tell you when I see you."

"Fine but you my friend have some serious ass kissing to do, I'm still super pissed."

"Oh believe me I Know baby." I can hear a smile playing at his lips as I hang up.

As I shrug on my jacket I look around my room. I haven't finished packing yet, I have a shit load of homework, yet I put everything on hold for the one and only.

Of course.

"The things I do for you Grey." I mutter while walking out of my room.

* * *

Pulling up I see Christian jacket hanging over his arms that are places in front of him. I get out of the car and stride to him and place my hands on my hips.

"Okay what's the big situation that has me coming here to pick you up at 12:00 in the night?" I ask.

Hesitantly Christian removes his jacket from covering himself and what I see has me clutching my stomach.

When I say laughing I mean that laugh that you try so hard to stop because your stomach literally hurts like hell, yea that one.

"Excuse the pun." I manage to say through my hysterics.

What his behind the jacket was mini Christian that seemed so aroused it broke through his pants.

"Are you finished?" He asked clearly getting aggravated at my state.

Good if he' is pissed he deserves it.

"Not quite but do you mind telling me what happened?"

"Look I was upset over our fight and Elliot suggested going out for a drink. The stupid ass slipped me not one, not two, but three fucking Viagra's because he was drunk and being a dumb ass."

Priceless.

I bite my lip to refrain from laughing any more, and the act doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"And the way that you're dressed or the fact that you're biting that fucking lip, isn't helping it go down…. At all. SO please Anastasia I need to get to a hospital."

I cast a quick glance down and internally scold myself. I totally forgot I was wearing nothing but Very Very short shorts, and a cropped T.

"And Elliot can't take you because?"

"Because the fuckers drunk, and I can't drive myself either… well you can see."

"Okay and you expect me to believe that with your safety issues Taylor didn't tag along?" I question.

"No Anastasia I let him take the night off."

I squint my eyes; I'm not letting you off so easy.

"I'm sure you could have called him. Why bother calling someone who is a problem and is shit, if I recall correctly." I nod my head and arch my brow.

My anger starts to resurface.

"Ana listen you were twisting my words. I was upset I get like that I'm an ass, and you call me out on it that's why we work so well. I'm sorry okay I've said it and I'll keep saying it until you finally forgive me, even if that takes forever. You can never mean shit to me Ana okay, ever. I can't say the same for you being a problem, but its okay you're my problem. I love it about you, your stubbornness, quirks, everything, every flaw and every problem that makes you. Please just forgive me, its killing me not having you in my life, by my side."

Poker face Ana, come on Poker face.

He inches closer to me smirking.

"Come on my little vixen." He says smiling.

"You don't get to call me that anymore."

He sighs and run's his free hand through his hair.

"Ana you're going to have to forgive me some day because I can't just drop you or forget about you. I fucking miss you; you can't take a man's addicting away from him. It will drive him mad, insane even, I don't know if I'll last another day. So just please, please forgive me."

I can't suppress my smile any longer; I've missed him more than he knew. I know we won't be more than friends but I rather have him as a friend then not at all.

"Fine."

His face scrunches as he says yes and pumps his fist.

"But can I ask you why? Why did you get all mean and push me away when I told you about New York?"

His face falls a bit and I can see he is contemplating his next words.

"Anastasia I didn't want you to go. Not only because I'm used to being with you every day, but because… I … Anastasia I L….."

BOOM.

The door to the bar swings open and a very drunken Elliot comes out.

"Oh heeyyyyyyyy….. and who is thisssS?"

"Hey I'm Ana." I smile.

Elliot gasps, as his eyes droop. Gosh he is wasted.

He covers his hands with his mouth and looks at Christian.

"The feisty one."

Christian jaw is tense.

"She can hear you Elliot?"

"Nu-Uh." He says.

Turning back to me he smiles.

I can see how pissed Christian is as he glares at Elliot.

"Hey Ana. Ana…. Come here. I gotta tell you a seeeeecrettt." He slurs.

I try super hard to not laugh as I inch closer to him.

"Do you know you hanged up on Christiann…. And put him on hold…. That was funny."

I bite my lips and try not to laugh.

"Yes Elliot."

"Oh… Well do you know we've got an intruder?" He points to Christians pants and I let out a giggle.

Christian groans and covers himself more.

"No.. No.. No broo it's okay she knoooooowws now. Just let it all out… Letttt, itttt, alllll, Ouutttt."

With that Elliot starts to vomit on the floor.

This pisses Christian off even more.

"Okay we need to get you home, and you to a doctor." I state as I guide them to my car.

"Sir?"

Me and Christian both look back at the new voice.

"Sir what are you doing here? If I may ask sir?"

What the fuck? Sir?

"Why is she calling you sir?" I question to Christian.

"Ana I….."

* * *

What do you think? I don't want Ana and Christian to run in to things to quick so i decided to play with their "Friendship" For a while longer. Any suggestions?


	11. Chapter 11

_**I'm back baby! Kiss the writers block goodbye... for now atleast. Well i took a while off due to horrible writers block, but I'm back and determine to meet my standards, starting with this story. So without further due, changing pavements. ") Enjoy**_

* * *

Fuck, this is not my day. I don't even want to say can my night get any worse because I don't want to jinx it and get myself into a bigger shit hole. I stare blankly at her and conjure up a plan deep within my mind, tonight maybe not so good to tell Ana about the whole BDSM part of me.

"Ummm sorry, who are you talking to?" I say as confused as I can.

She looks at me even more confused and cocks her head to the side opening her mouth to reply.

"Oh are you one of my employees, sorry I have so many I can't keep track of them?"

Silently I beg and plea to the lords to let this woman take a hint a walk off, fuck is she that oblivious?

Again she cocks her head, brow furrowed; mouth opened for a reply, which I'm sure won't be to my help.

"Oh you must be talking to Elliot, you're that girl, the one that…." I look around and can see Ana's body as a steadier for Elliot, but her attention is focused on me, probably just as confused as my sub, or me for that matter.

"The girl he told me, his manger, ployee, worker, friend?" I fade off hoping for the subject to drop, and for the heavens to take me out of this.

As if I had Janet my sub not cooperating enough, Elliot decided to take this time to regain conscience's and pitch in to the conversation, again only hindering the situation.

"Huh? What Christian….." Before he could finish the sentence and make matters worse I pat his back hard, and push him a little too violently into the car.

"Oww Christian what the…." Again I avoid him trying to make him shut up.

"There, there Elliot I know you need to go to the hospital I will take you there." I smile putting uo the caring façade.

"What are you….."

"What am I good? Yea bro fine, but you my big brother need some care, and I will let them attend to you first." I smile, trying to play sincere.

I'm most positive Ana and Janet are looking at me like I'm fucked up, oh well.

Desperate time call's for desperate measures.

"What…. I'm not…."

"Not worried about yourself, you'd rather they help me first? Sweet brother, always caring… He's to caring right?" I turn to look at Ana and Janet who look unsure, and more confused than Elliot.

I'm sure those were not what Elliot was going to say but I had to cover before he said he didn't know Janet, and then blew the situation up back in my face.

Quickly I slam the door, leaving a very stunned Elliot I'm sure. But I did forget about the current sub, and best thing in my life problem occurring behind me.

Slowly I turned my back facing them.

And then there were three.

Awkward.

"Sooo….. Ms. I will make sure my brother contacts you when he's better, okay, until then we need to go to a hospital. Kay so yea bye." I smile and put my hand on Ana's lower back guiding her as quickly as I can to the car.

But of course, Ana ever the so stubborn girl must go against my order every turn she gets.

Of course.

"No, wait. Umm are you really close with Elliot, are you dating him?" Ana questions, oh god please.

Janet head tilts.

Ana's brow furrows.

Janet hugs herself.

Ana tugs on her lips.

Meanwhile my erection is slowly healing with the scared shitless feeling seeping through me calming my ever so erect friend.

I mouth the word "YES" to Janet and nod my head furiously.

Ana turns her head to me.

Shit I got caught.

But she just turns her attention back to Janet.

Thank fucks, saved.

Janet's brow quirks, a faint smirk appears on her face.

She gets it. Thank fucks.

"Yea, we've actually been seeing each other for some time now. He's actually a dick, controlling little bastard, but hey he's good in bed."

That little bitch, that definitely deserves a severe punishment, I can't wait.

"He's so rough, so so rough. I mean he spanks, he ties me up. I think there's a word for that type of sex, what was it BD, BDF, BDS, BDXM….."

Before she can go any further I stop it right there.

"OKAY….. So Ana how about that hospital, again I'll be sure to tell Elliot when he feels better to give you a call. Get home safely, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to get hurt, by anyone else." I say venomously, a dangerous glint in my eye.

Oh game on bitch.

She smiles slyly, and waves her fingers before walking off.

"What was that?" Ana asks, god as if she could look more lost.

"I'm sure it was nothing, I mean whatever Elliot does on his own time is his business, now how about we get checked up?"

An hour later.

I'm in the waiting room, blowing my hair out of my face.

The clock is ticking, my erection has faded, and Elliot is getting is stomach pumped.

Great night. Truly.

Plus, to makes things worse my phone died. Yup, died. Which means people can't get in touch with me, as in business people, regarding business. Which makes my company money, which keeps my company running. The company that I worked so very hard to build up which is probably crashing… right about now.

Fucking night.

"I'm going to get us some tea, you want me to get you coffee or something?" She says getting up, picking her hair up into a high bun.

"Sure, Coffee would be great."

"Yup, black, no sugar and a bit of spit." She whispers the last part but I catch it.

"Excuse me? Still mad I see?"

"Just a hint." She smile squinting her eyes and showing a small gap between her two fingers. I smile and shake my head while she sticks up her middle finger.

"You deserve it Grey." She calls off as she walks away.

"Yep, I got the hint." I call after her.

The doctor comes out nest taking my gaze off of Ana as he stares after her. I furrow my brow and look at him as he watches her.

"Fine piece of ass I tell ya." He mutters. Is the fucker talking to me?

He shakes his head and looks at me while I stare in shock at him.

"What?" He asks, oblivious. God I have fucking had it with the oblivious people I am surrounded with, fuck people now a days are they born with common sense?

"Do you want your job?" I ask accusingly?

"Yes of course." He says shocked by my question.

"Good then never mutter a single word about her again. Do we have an understandment?" I ask him getting up, overpowering him.

"Ye-yes Mr. Grey." He mutters scared.

"Good, because you see that," I ask," That's my piece of ass. Mine." I state before walking off into the room to see my ever so dear brother, Elliot.

"Sup brother." I say sitting on the nearby chair.

"Sup brother? Might want to tell me what was with all that man handling and cutting me off back there?" He asks.

"Well you see Janet my sub was there, mixed with Ana, not a good combination." He sits shocked looking at me.

"So you still haven't told Ana about your little sex life, wait wait, you still have a sub? Wow Christian." He shakes his head laughing.

"What, I'm waiting for the right time Elliot I don't want to scare her off."

"Well how about you engage in normal sex activities that don't involve axes and knives and whips? I think maybe then you won't be afraid to tell her." He says sarcastically sitting up.

"Funny Elliot, really hilarious. Look I just need the time I don't want to lose her."

"Dam bro, your whipped. Ironic isn't it. Well hey if things don't work out with you and her maybe I'll take her off your hands, either way she'll still be in your family. I saw her the other day all perky in her poom, poom shorts… MMMM… Simmer down I wouldn't dream of touching her… Well dream yea but not in reality at least." He smiles laughing while shrugging on his jacket.

"And to think you didn't have enough tonight." I say he looks at me lost before I punch him in the stomach twice hard.

Paybacks a bitch, Lelliot.

He huddles over clutching his stomach.

I lean over him and pat his back.

"Say that again and next time you'll come to the hospital with your balls in one hand and your dick in the other. Kay." I smile and fix my jacket, while leaving.

"Good seeing you brother." I say walking out.

"Dick." I hear him mutter behind me.

* * *

And what did you guys think? God, bad, Eh? Any suggestions. For those of you who are saying this friendship thing is "boring," or "getting old", as you put it i'm sorry but i dont know how to respond to that. A story takes time i dont want to rush into it, the whole concept of my storie is the fact that they are friends, if i get straight into them being in a relationship than my story is basically like all the others, get it? You have to enjoy the ride there in order to make the destination all the more worth it. And boy do i promise you it will be worth it. Please give it time, they are not full blow dating yet, but i can still let them have some fun, or lot's of fun maybe. :)


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry again, like always. My computer broke. I had to go to the library to write this, and i kept having to check over my shoulder to make sure people won't read the curses i kept writing. Especially since i said i was doing homework. The risks i take for you guys. :) Enjoy please.

* * *

Songs:

**Love song By: the cure**

**Under the bridge By: the Red Hot Chili Peppers**

**Little Talks By: Of Monsters and Men**

* * *

As I walk in to the bathroom, I check my phone.

Face book, four friend request.

Jennifer Lawrence.. Pshh like I would really believe you are Jennifer Lawrence, decline.

Samantha Burgos, Selena Wright. Girls from my class, ehh accept.

Ryan Redman. Jesus dude you look like a pedophile rapist guy. No thank you decline.

Getting in to the bathroom I close the door and lay my phone down as I get in the shower. I haven't heard from Christian yet, usually he is up early and texts me.

Turning on the water I launch myself in the corner of the bathtub, as the water passes the freezing cold stage. Fuck I hate when I don't remember and I get that rush of coldness on my skin. Not the best thing in the morning.

As I see the steam filling the bathroom I test it with my hand before fully emerging myself into the hot water. Cold days are bitches.

Okay now that I'm in the shower I can officially have those reflect on life moments.

So I'm in love with my best friend who I'm positive doesn't love me the same. Well that seems to be all that's going on in my life. But the thing is I can't just run away from him to hide my feelings, because I can't get rid of him. I don't want to.

He's been a part of my life everyday now since almost three months already, and already I can't see my life without him. It's kind of impossible. I mean we have this everyday flirting that just brings my hopes up when I'm sure he is just doing it because the man is fucking the definition of sex itself.

Plus I have to act like it doesn't affect me like it does when inside I am just wishing I could kiss him, and claim him as mine to push away all the hungry eyes of these beautiful woman. Its killing me acting like we are only friends, but I refuse to tell him how I feel, first. I mean I wish he could just come to me telling me how he feels, because I have too much of an ego and pride to tell someone how I feel.

I know am I in first grade or something?

As I step out of the shower I immediately glance in the mirror. Okay now I'm sure we've all had those moments were we pose like Victoria secret models after we get out of the shower, and we actually start to think we can be one of them.

After countless poses that boosted up my self -esteem I finally notice the wet puddles I left on the floor. Glancing around I see it… Fuck me... I forgot a towel. Great.

Okay now hopefully Kate is not home, especially not with a guy or friend. All fingers crossed. Taking a deep breath I take the risk and run off to my bedroom.

Score! I made it, Damn I feel like a risk taker.

As I take my towel and make due of my daily routine of moisturizing, I pick up my phone a glance at my texts. Still none from Christian…

I busy myself with looking at my face book, and even though I don't hear a ping indicating a text I check anyways, still no texts from him.

God! I write in hey, then delete it, then hi, then delete it. NO I will not write him first, it will make me seem desperate right? Just forget it he needs to write me first. God this is killing me.

I'm turning in to an obsessed girlfriend, whose life revolves around a guy. Turning off my phone I throw it on the bed and huff. God I really need to do something about this love thing. It's really fucking up my life. Maybe if I convince myself I don't like him, It will work.

Let's see think of his flaws. Well he's controlling, jealous, over bearing, and possessive….

Who am I kidding I may act like I don't like when he does those things but I know I love it, especially on him. Shit, this isn't working the man is perfect.

As I lay myself on the bed, I hear a noise in the distance. Great, now I'm scared.

As I try to convince myself I'm hearing things I hear it again, and get up. Fuck. Yep, I'm going to die.

Tip toeing to the door I pull it open fast, and see nothing. Stepping out, I walk slowly as I approach the corner. Fuck ,in the movies the girl who does this always dies, I'm dumb.

As I take a couple of more steps, and turn the corner I bump into Elliot. Oh thank god.

"Elliot!" I yelp as he catches me to keep me balanced.

"Sorry Ana." He says picking me up.

"Jesus what the fuck are you doing wandering in the dark. You could have turned on some lights so I won't think there's a killer in my house."

I hold my chest to catch my breath as he laughs and apologizes.

"Is Kate still sleeping? Its 6:30 and she is always up before me she gets to work at 7:20." I ask walking in to the kitchen and opening the fridge.  
"She already left early, she has to be at a conference today, she's goanna be at work later than usual." He says leaning against the wall.

"Oh, I forgot about that." I say as I pour myself some Pepsi, and pop a straw in the cup.

"Yea, so listen I wanted to apologize for having to deal with me and Christian the other day."

Leaning against the counter I sip my soda and laugh.

"Yeah it wasn't my original plan, seeing as how I was supposed to be packing, but hey who else is going to save your sorry asses."

He tilts his head back and laughs whole heartily as he shakes his head.

"That's why we love you." He says.

I grimace at the word. Love. Yea sure you guys do, as a friend.

"And I forgot you were leaving. New York, right," I nod, "So you're going to be gone for some time I'm guessing. Which means before you leave let me make it up to you?"

"Shoot?"I say.

"Tonight, me, you and Christian lets blow off some steam, let's go to the strip club."

I almost spit out my drink, as I laugh.

"Wow Elliot, a strip club? Out of all places, after the other day? You sure know how to make it up to a girl. And you know Christian won't be up for it."

"Exactly that's why if you go he will be sure to go. He's always so stressed Ana he needs to act his age. And really I'm going because it's a new place of my friends that he wants me to check out and review, and I don't want to go alone. Plus you're down with our bullshit half of the time."

True. I need to act my age as well, which is why I'm drinking soda instead of the same boring old tea, I mean what am I 40?

"Okay, I'm down. Consider yourself forgiven."

Coming up to me he leans down and kisses me on the top of my head.

"You see, I can always count on you." Taking my soda he takes a sip and shakes his head.

"Really Ana, your one of the straw biters? I don't see why people feel tempted to bite the straws."

"What it's a habit?" I say, watching as he throws out the straw and gulps the rest down.

"Elliot!" I yell hitting his shoulder.

"What? Pick you up at 7:00." He smiles running away and out the door.

What to do?

You know what I'll suck it up and go visit Christian, he always visits me, so maybe it's my turn.

* * *

Pulling up in front of Escala, I park and head to the Elevator.

It's Saturday and I know for sure it's his day off, which make me's wonder all the more why he hasn't called me.

Which makes me think he doesn't want to see me, well it's too late to back down.

I need to suck it up and just see him; I mean he always comes to me unannounced, so why shouldn't I return the favor.

As the doors open and I enter the foyer, I am greeted by Taylor.

"Hello Taylor, where is Christian?" I say cutting to the chase.

"Ms. Steele," He says nodding, "He's in the home gym."

As he moves to follow me I turn to him and smile, "No need, I know where it is."

Walking to the gym, I hear the clinking of medal, and the shallow breaths and grunts who I can assume is Christian.

I open the door and there in all his glory is Christian shirt off, lying on the bench lifting weights. His headphones are in his ears so I pull them off, and bend to give him a kiss on his forehead.

"Hey toots." I say cheerfully.

"Hello Anastasia." He says still lifting. Well maybe I need to do a little more to get his attention.

Felling frisky, I hop on him and straddle his hips, only to be rewarded by him stopping and putting the weights down, and glancing at me.

"You know you might want to get off before you're greeted by my boner." He says eyeing me up and down.

I think I see lust, but of course it's just my imagination. I'm the one lusting after him.

"Oh you still have that boner I see, didn't that medication work." I say playfully.

"The medication worked, it's you who is not helping." I blush furiously as I hop off of him.

"Well I haven't seen you, so I took the liberty of coming to see you myself, if you don't mind." I add as I walk around touching his equipment.

"You should know that you can visit me whenever you like Anastasia." I know he means nothing by that statement but I can't help but feel giddy and somewhat special inside.

"So what are you doing today?" I test to see if Elliot has told him of our plans.

"Well I was planning on occupying my morning by exercising but now that you're here, that's out of the question. Did you eat breaks feast already?"

Fuck!

"Mmmm, ehh..."

"Anastasia ... look at me." I peek at him, to see him sitting on the bench now, elbows rested on his knees.

"Well if you count some Pepsi…"I trail off.

"Pepsi, in the morning? And that's all. Fuck Anastasia do I need to monitor you all the time to make sure your eating right?"

"Look I'm sorry, I forgot, I'll just eat now, and I promise I won't forget ever again."

"Yea I believe that." He scoffs.

I hold out my pinky and look up to him, shaking his head and smiling he locks his pinky with mines, then takes my hand leading me to the kitchen.

* * *

After a breaks feast that will last me months, he gets up and clears the dishes.

"What's today?"

"Saturday."

"No I mean like the number."

"The 20th, how don't you know that?"

"Because I usually check my phone for the date, and I left it in my house."

"No wonder I've been texting and calling and you haven't answered." He frowns.

I smile knowingly, ha paybacks a bitch.

"Oh I'm sorry." I say, but in the inside I'm dancing. God I'm acting like a child.

"It's alright." Getting up I glance at his clock and see that it's now 8:45.

Maybe I should say I need to go do something even though I don't need to, just to get him thinking. I want him to feel like I feel when I'm not with him, I wan t him to wonder, and get jealous. Fuck I need therapy.

"I need to go." I say, stopping myself from having second thoughts.

"Where?" he asks as he washes his hands. Fuck I didn't think that far.

"Umm, you know, I just have to do a couple of things, for starters I need my phone, so I'll just text you when I'm home."

Please don't let him try to dig further. He glances at me, and suddenly I see his cold wall up. Well what the fuck did I do?

"Okay, drive safely."

With a little sadness, I guess from hoping I will get a little show of affection, I pick up my bag. Slowly I walk to the door and notice him walking behind me.

"Alright, bye." I say.

Before I leave I get pulled into his arms and he plants a kiss on my hair lingering a little longer. I wrap my arms around him giving him a squeeze before pulling back.

"Be careful." He whispers. Before I smile, and walk out.

* * *

As I hop in the car with Elliot I see him smiling up at me.

"Did you leave your phone like I told you to?" He asks.

"Yea why."

"Because I've already gotten two calls from Christian in one day, and that has to be the most he's called me in a year." I shake my head and laugh.

A ringing in the car indicates someone is calling Elliot.

"Speaking of the devil." Elliot says as he picks it up.

"Quit fucking around Elliot." Christian's voice fills the car giving me a shiver.

"What's wrong bro? Looking for your girl?"

A blush fills my face at what Elliot says making me smile.

"Where is she Elliot?"

"We are heading to the strip club bro, you should join, it's going to be fun man."

"Elliot stop…." His voice gets cut off as Elliot disconnects the call.

"Getting Christian to come, check." He says smiling as we head off to the club.

* * *

Heading in the club the smell of sex hits me. Along with liquor and smoke.

The lights are flashing, the music is erotic and blaring, and of course all I can see is naked woman dancing on poles.

Immediately we are seated and asked for orders.

"I'll take a scotch, what about you Ana."

"Bourbon." I yell over the music.

Elliot looks at me and laughs shaking his head.

"You sure are much different than you look." I smile and observe the place.

Of course there are all men around, throwing their bills at woman. Actually all I can see is men; I think I am the only girl here.

"I think I'm the only girl here, who's not naked, and dancing on poles." I yell to Elliot.

"That's because you're the only cool girl I know who will come to a strip club." He yells smiling.

As our drinks come, I take a sip, as Elliot does, and we sit back.

Almost immediately one of the strippers comes up to our tables.

"Care for a lap dance?" She asks glancing at Elliot.

"Sorry, I'm taken." He says.

"I'll take one." I say surprising both Elliot and the woman.

"You're serious?" Elliot questions disbelief and amusement in his eyes.

"What the hell, just one more thing to cross off my bucket list." I say laughing, as I gulp down the rest of my drink.

"Keep em' coming." I tell Elliot as the girl comes on me.

I can't help but laugh as she starts shaking on me, and straddling my hips. She starts to bend backwards and I get a full view of her vagina, I cover my eyes and laugh.

She comes back up and starts to motor boat me with her boobs. I keep giggling, as Elliot laughs and throws money at us.

I can see and feel Christian as he comes up to us. Wow look who found us, surprising.

"What the fuck Elliot!" Christian yells.

"Christian just sit down and get a lap dance!" I yell to him, as he glares at me.

"No Anastasia." I shake my head and laugh while the girl finishes her job, and ends up giving me a kiss on my cheek.

"Well that was fun." I say as I finish and take a sip of my drink, before it gets taken away from me.

"No, that's enough liquor for you." Christian says as he gulps it down himself.

I watch him amusingly as he refuses to sit, and just stares at me.

"Oh god, Christian lighten up." I say but he doesn't budge.

I get up and go to him.

"Look we are young, if we don't do stupid shit while we can, we will have nothing to smile about when we're old. So please just act your age, and enjoy this night with me. Please?" I say putting on my puppy face before he shakes his head.

"Fine Anastasia. But only twenty more minutes." He scolds.

"Fine, that's all we need."

* * *

Elliot ends up heading home, as Christian takes me home.

He ends up carrying me to my bed, because me the ever so lightweight got drunk.

Laying me on my bed, he takes off each shoe, and lays them neatly on the floor.

"Where is your night clothes?" He asks.

I point to my drawer and he takes out something.

"Why is this here?" He inquires, as I glance at him holding his white tee in his hand.

"You left it here, don't worry you can take it back."

"No, I want you to have it, in fact."

He walks to me and takes off my jeans and shirt, and places his shirt over my head.

"I like you in my shirt." He whispers. Fuck I hope I didn't imagine that.

I smile as he lifts me up, and places me under my quilt. I hear a soft click as the lights go out, and to my surprise the bed shifts and he climbs in with me.

"I'm guessing you're staying." I ask my lids half closing.

"You guess right, I won't leave you here alone when you're like this."

I turn to face him, and snuggle in to him a little.

"Kate's here." I say.

"Yeah well I trust myself more."

I laugh a little as I feel myself slipping away more.

"You worry too much. Worrying won't stop bad things from happening; it just stops you from enjoying the good stuff." I whisper, my voice coming in and out.

"No me worrying keeps the good stuff safe…. Keeps you safe." He whispers.

I smile and curl in to him. I guess he thought I was sleeping because after a beat I hear him whisper

"Never leave me."

Taking him by surprise I link our pinkies together and snuggle my head into the crook of his neck whispering, "Never."

Although I know I won't remember this in the morning.

* * *

**SPOILER**- For all the impatient readers i can say that the scene where Ana and Christian finally get together will be coming soon, so please be patient!

I have a big question. So i've tryed to make this ana more relatable i mean she sounded like a 40 year old trapped in a 22 year olds body. I try to make her seem more like a girl, i made her think like us girls do, and make her feel like we do, and make her do dumb things like us girls do. Am i doing a good job?

Guys what do you think of the songs? Any ideas for more songs?


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you for the comments. To one comment asking if ana still lives with her aunt. yes she does im sorry i totally forgot, yes it is un -proffesional and a silly mistake but honestly it was truly a harmless mistake. I forgot, and i will fix it. Thank you for catching that and reminding me :) As for the other comments thanks for the complements they mke my day as always :) Enjoy.

Songs :

Montell Jones - This is how we do it

Rebecca Black - Friday

Will I Am and Britney Spears - Scream and Shout

* * *

Open…

Click open, click close, click open, click close.

Close…

I throw my journal and lay on my bed. I haven't written in that thing in a while so I though what the heck, but nothing. That thing used to be my best friend but I guess since I have someone who fills that spot I don't really need it.

Christian….

Ever since that silent promise I made him that night things have been a tad different. In a sense where I can't help but feel some how he knows all there is about me yet there is still much more to uncover about him.

Here I thought I'd die without him, yet little did I know that the feeling was kind of mutual. I mean I guess we are both filling voids in each other's life. And each day were becoming more dependent and attached to each other that the thought of either of us being gone is unimaginable, and too painful to think of.

Well I know it is for me, but I only have little actions and words he has said to me that give me an idea that he feels the same.

You see now that was not so hard, why I couldn't just write that down. I guess I just feel like since I actually have someone to write about other than myself writing it down will be kind of in personal in a way, it makes my feelings somehow just a page to fill in my diary, and he's not that…

He's so much more.

Holding my stomach and curling more into my pillow I let my irritable cramp past. Why oh why must woman be subjected to these painful visits every month? And why must it make us such bitches?

_*Are we still up for tonight ? – Christian_

_* I'd rather eat bricks_

_*You have your Period? - Christian_

I laugh.. Oh how he knows me so well.

_*Yes_

_*I'll be there in ten with movies, ice cream, and blankets_

Staring at the screen I almost want to scream at him why must you be so god damned perfect? Its these little things that he does that gives me hope, hope that we can be something more. Why can't he just act like a regular dumb ass guy friend who just wants to get in your panties? No he has to be the ideal man.

***RING***

"Hey you." I say laying back into my pillow, and muting the T.V

"Hey babe, you steel feeling shitty? Do you want me to swing by with your favorite wine?"

Smiling, I think how did I get so lucky to have all these good friends.

"As much as I would love that, Christian beat you to it."

"Christian," Kate says dragging out his name;" You two are getting pretty close aren't you?"

"I mean I guess you could say that but not in the way you'd think."

Kate goes quiet for a while.

"Kate?"

"Yea I'm here, just waiting for the bullshit to pass so you can tell me the truth."

"Kate rea." But I get cut off.

"No, how long have I known you?"

"5 years." I say like a pouting child.

"Right, so I'd say I know you like the back of my hand by now, and I know what load of shit it is that your giving me, so out with the truth."

Sighing I settle on telling her it all. Sitting up I lay my head on my headboard and bring my knees up.

"Okay, so we are close. But it really is nothing more... at least for him it's not. I mean, god I fell for him Kate. Completely and utterly fell for him, in a sense where I think about him constantly, I wonder what he is doing all the time, I miss him when he's not with me, and even when he is with me I just miss him. It's just I don't know what to do Kate, because we are friends that all I mean…."

"No Kate did he say he doesn't like you?"

"No, but."

"Did he give any sort of sign that interprets he doesn't like you?"

"No."

"Okay, so then as always you are jumping to conclusions and letting your insecurities make your decisions which is what you always do babe, and all that does is makes you miss out on a lot of good things. And when you miss out on things?"

"You end up regretting it."

"Exactly. You have never been able to read in between the lines, and take matter into your own hands, and that needs to change if you ever want to get what you want. Okay? You my beautiful friend need to find that confidence and strength within you dig deep because I know it's in there under all that doubt and self consciousness, and use it to your advantage. Take a leap, if he feels the same then great you'll be happy, if he doesn't you'll never need to wonder what if, either way it's a lesson to be learned from."

"Your right. Absolutely right, thank you so much for making me see that."

"What are friends for? And by the way while we are on the topic of friends have you notice what a slut Destiny has been?"

"No, I haven't. Wow she always seemed to be sweet."

"I know right. Ever since that fucking drake song about Y.O.L.O. I mean it says you only live once, not fuck every boy you see. Jesus."

***KNOCK KNOCK***

Laughing I finish up the call with Kate, that must be Christian.

"You're so silly. But I'll call you later Christians here."

"Alright go get em babe."

Hanging up I pick up my hair in a bun, and slip on my sweatpants. Padding my way to the door I open it and smile.

"Hey."

Handing me a bag, he engulfs me with a hug and kisses my head.

"How are you feeling?" He asks holding each side of my head, and looking at me with concern.

"I'm fine, thank you for coming."

"For you, anything." He says shutting the door behind him, and shrugging off his leather jacket.

"What is all this?" I ask sitting the bags on the island.

"Since you're not feeling good I knew I'd be staying here for a while, so I though why not cook for you?"

"Cook?" I say smiling, and sitting on the stoop.

"Yes cook, my famous soup." He says unloading the ingredient he bought.

"Wow, Christian Grey a man of many talents."

"You have no idea baby." He murmurs giving me a sexy grin.

"Oh and here I bough you these."

Sipping my water I almost spit it out.

"Tampons?"

"Yes tampons Anastasia, you don't need to feel embarrassed, its fine. I mean it did take a hell of a long time trying to find the right ones, over night, then I didn't know if you used pads, Jesus it was a big process I even had Taylor come and help me."

Covering my eyes to coat the embarrassment I feel, I feel Christian wedge himself between my legs an pry my hands off my face.

"Listen, please Ana, are you goanna feel like that with me? It's me, were closer than that alright?"

I can only manage a nod as a response. I mean really his security?

"Alright now I'm going to start cooking before it gets too late."

* * *

As he walks around the kitchen, wash cloth hung over his shoulder, sleeves rolled up, mixing and adding ingredients I can't help but admire. Gosh, how am I going to have the courage to even approach him with my feelings? What if he doesn't feel the same and my little confession makes things too awkward for things to ever be the same again? And I like this, us, how we are now. I don't want to risk it and lose it.

I am awoken from my day dreaming by the blasting lyrics of Montell Jordan as Christian blasts him in my stereo.

_This is how we do it._

_Its Friday night, and I feel all right, the party's here on the west side._

"Wow." I say laughing.

"Talk about throw back, I don't even think I was alive when this came out, but I love this song." I say.

He just ignores me as he keeps singing, and mixing.

"_This is how we do it, all hands are in the air _  
_And wave them from here to there _  
_If you're an O.G. mack or a wanna-be player _  
_You see the hood's been good to me _  
_Ever since I was a lower-case G _  
_But now I'm a big G. The girls see I got the money _  
_A hundred-dollar bills y'all _

_If you were from where I'm from then you would know _  
_That I gotta get mine in a big black truck _  
_You can get yours in a '64 "_

I get up and decide to put a different song about Friday night.

"_Oh- yea yea.. Yeah yeah yeah yeah._

_Seven Am waking up in the morning, gotta get dressed gotta go down stairs, gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal."_

I am now clutching my stomach from laughter, as Christian looks at me and shakes his head trying to suppress his laugh.

I start to walk to him and sing.

"_It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday_." I start to move him with me, as he starts to laugh.

As he turns off the music he just shakes his head.

"What kind of bullshit was that? That was a disgrace to music Ana." My laughing subsides as I settle down and sit next to him.

Coming to me with a wooden spoon, he orders me to taste. As I open my mouth, I see his eyes lingering on my lips the whole time, as his face changes.

"Mmm, that's delicious." I say swallowing.

"Yeah." He says his eyes slowly trailing from my lips to my eyes, and then he goes back to cooking.

* * *

As we are cuddled against each other on my couch, the notebook playing, I am clutching my stomach holding in my laughter.

As I get up from my place on his chest and manage to push up on my elbows, I try to stop laughing.

"Okay, okay, oh gosh just do it one more time." I say laughing.

"No." He says smirking trying to be serious.

"Please Christian one more time that's it."

"No, you said that the last three times."

"Please."

Shaking his head he looks at me and does his most ugliest face again, and I burst out laughing on his stomach.

"Oh… it just.. I….." I try to manage talking though my laughing.

"Are you done?" He asks as I sit next to him, and try to hold it in.

"Yes." I say but I burst out laughing again.

After a good five minutes I am now content, and back on his chest watching the notebook.

"You see now that's what I want, not just a serious love but a fun passionate silly love, a love that is so strong and hard to ignore." I say mostly to myself when I forget that Christian is in the room I immediately regret saying it.

I am lying on his chest so I can't see his face but I can just feel the awkwardness. Trying to change the subject I start to play with his chain. I never really notice it before but he seems to wear it every day. It's a single small cross.

"Who gave you this?" I ask looking up to him as I fiddle with it in my fingers.

Staring at it, he swallows.

"Someone I knew long ago." He whispers.

"Who?"

"Can we please discuss the drama of my pass another time?"

I sign, and stare at the chain.

"It's just I basically know nothing about you compared to what you know about me."

"You know enough about me, and who I am now. You don't need to be filled in with the details of what used to be."

"But it obviously still affects you, and it made you who you are today."

"Ana there is certain would like for you to not know about me." He says softly.

"At risk of what?"

"You... Seeing me differently. Not only that but the fact that it happened so long ago but it stills plays a big part in my everyday life."

"You're chained to your past. But that's okay Christian, everyone is no one is completely free of everything. Even me. So there's nothing you can say that will make me see you differently." I whisper.

His eyes close at my last words, and I decide I am bringing a damper on this good mood. Touching his face and sitting up, I decide to turn things around.

"But only when and if you're ready okay. I just want you to know that I am here to listen."

Smiling I get up and get the ice cream. Plopping back on the sofa, I sit with my feet on his lap.

"So, I want to take you somewhere tomorrow." He says taking my feet in his hands and massaging them slowly. Taking a bite of ice cream, I then scoop up some more and give it to him.

"Oh a field trip, hit me." I say feeding him and myself more ice-cream.

"I want you to one of most pride possessions. My boat." Shaking my head slowly I swallow my ice-cream.

"Why am I not surprised? But yes I would love to spend the day with you on a boat. Sounds relaxing."

Smiling his phone interrupts us and I am surprised to hear a loud curse, and then Christian looking at me with guilty eyes for shouting.

"You don't even need to explain. Come here." I say putting down my ice cream and taking his head in my lap.

"Just whatever it is relax. You are too stressed; let someone else deal with it I'm sure there is someone for that, seeing as how you've got a guy for everything." Chuckling softly he relaxes more in my lap, and closes his eyes.

I start to massage my hands in his hair, and scratch his scalp.

"You're going to make me fall asleep if you keep that up."

Bending down I kiss his forehead and whisper, "That's the point."

Quickly he dashes up and stretches.

"I'm not falling asleep on your lap to leave you all uncomfortable."

As I see him picking up his jacket, I kneel on the couch and move over to him pouting.

"Are you leaving?"

"I should." He says eyeing me, as his eyes start to change. I pout my lip out more, and clasp my hands in front of me, as I move more so I'm know in front of him.

Sighing he puts his coat down.

"But I won't. Jesus Ana how am I supposed to leave when you do that?"

Smiling and I bite down on my lip, but am quickly stopped when he tugs on my chin.

"Or this." He says lightly touching my lower lip, and tracing it.

All of a sudden the atmosphere changes and he is staring at me hungrily. Maybe there is hope. Oh please kiss me I plead.

And just when I think he will, he just settles for tucking a strand piece of hair behind my ear.

"Come on lets go to bed." Picking me up, and lightly placing me on the floor, he grabs my hand and leads me to the room.

Stopping abruptly, he turns around to face me.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just going to pick up; I don't want to have to deal with it in the morning."

"I'll do it baby, just go get ready for bed."

"No its fine, I'll be there in ten tops." Smiling softly, he kisses my head, and let's go of my hand.

"I'll get your bath ready."

Nodding I go off to the living room, and start to collect everything.

The truth is I just needed a little alone time, with every second it just gets more and more real the fact that we will never be together. I mean he clearly had an opening but no. In the back of my mind I hear Kate's advice your reading too much into it, takes matters into my own hands, but the outcome may be too much to bare.

But why the fuck did I have to say I'm going to go clean?! Really I hate cleaning, I could of said I was going to drink water or piss but knowing Christian he'd just follow me, he has no bounds for personal space.

And now to top it all off he's sleeping with me in my bed. I mean sure I practically begged him to stay and we've done it before but now it's too much to bear with so much of my feelings intact. I mean he doesn't even know how he makes me feel, or how these little simple things he does makes me giddy inside. Everything he does just leads me on more but I am too selfish to just stop it, or to actually approach the situation.

Folding the quilts, something falls on to the floor. As I bend and check I see it is Christians phone, and on the screen is an open text.

*Christian how come it didn't work with Janet, she was perfect? Should I start searching for more, the usual? There are some new girls, quite the reputation, perfect for you. Let me know. –Elena.

Janet? The usual? New girls? Quite the reputation?

Fuck this is totally snooping, not cool Ana. But who are these girls? Girl friends perhaps? Is he seeing someone?

* * *

What do you think? Please comment, last chapter i didnt get that much and it made a sad author, please comment. Fav, follow, PM. Any questions? Again to the impatient people be calm i ASSURE you it is coming soon, so please just hang in there. How do you like this chapter? Cute, fun, YOUNG. I tried to keep them their age not these 40 year olds in 20 year olds bodys.


	14. Chapter 14

Okay readers as requested by MANY the next chapter. Just remember every chapter makes us one step closer to when A&C finally get together. So please just hold it together.

* * *

SONGS:

The Fray - look after you

DIDO- here with me

The civil wars - poision and wine

( I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU LISTEN TO THESE SONGS)

Who knew my mind would be even more complicated but after yesterday I was wrong. It's not so much as the letter made me suspicious, but the fact that I have no reason at all to be upset or angry because I am nothing more than a friend to him, maybe a little sister. With my insecure mind, and the fact that he avoided the almost kiss yesterday just makes this whole pretending even harder and agonizing in the first place.

This brings me to the present… I'm going to tell him. Everything. I'm done settling and accepting things I don't like, I'm going to just tell him how I feel. I'm pushing little ass insecure Ana to the curb, and I'm going after what I want, or in this situation who I want.

The continuing thoughts of what if and what could be is just piping up my curiosity every day to the point where I don't want to imagine and live in my head any longer. I want to actually know what if, and what could. If he feels the same then this is only better for me, and if he doesn't well … I haven't really gotten that far but we will see in time.

And thinking about it I do have a right to be upset about that email. I know for a fact I am not blind, nor am I dumb or stupid so I know that what has been going on between us is more than friends. Correct me if I'm wrong but all those nights we spent sleeping together and doing very sexual things at times, is not just mere friends.

God I have a hell of a lot to discuss with him today while we're on his boat. Now let's just hope that I can feed off of this anger and courage for later on. But just in case, I do have a plan B to take the edge off of it all enough to make this easier on us both.

* * *

As we get out of the car, Christian immediately grabs hold of my hand. Glancing down at my hand I scowl, see this is definitely not just fucking friends. Gosh I wish he would just admit his interest in me, to take all this weight off of my shoulders for our future talk.

Casually I slip my hands out of his, and put them in my pockets. As he looks at me with a quizzical look, or should I say a "what the fuck look," I just shrug and smile and say, "My hands are cold."

Wow good one.

As we continue to walk to the massive boat we hear the thunder followed by the massive strike of lightning, wow sure is the perfect day to go sailing. -_-

Stopping when we reach to the boat I stand in front of it awkwardly as I see Christian approach a guy standing at the entrance of the boat, who I can only assume is a guy that maybe works on the boat. I stand there watching them, I mean I don't want to intrude since I'm only his "friend," you know it's not like I'm anything more.

Gosh who am I anymore, this sulking baby who over analyzes everything. Shaking my head I glance around, and can see a kid fishing with his father I presume. Smiling towards them the father smiles back, and continues to fish while the kid just stares at me.

Jesus kid, did you ever hear of something called manners?

As I try to turn away and distract myself, I find myself turning back to look at him. Fuck what is his problem.

Quizzically I arch my brow towards him, and am rewarded with a tongue. Really? Shaking my head, I the ever so adult stoop to his level and stick my tongue back at him, followed with some other ugly faces.

Watching me with the most impassive face he just sticks his middle finger up, stopping me in my track. With my mouth wide open in shock, I'm rewarded with another finger, then to top it all off he mouths the words, "Fuck you."

Little ass hole.

And just as I was getting ready to throw the little fucker in the water, I'm stopped by Christian's voice.

"ANA?!" I turn to see him calling me over with his hands.

Jesus, was I really going to let a little kid effect me. Fuck what is up with me. Jogging I run up to Christian.

"Why were you standing over there?" He asks, brow furrowed.

"Umm…. I… I was just lost In thought I guess." I say trying to play it off.

"Okay well the thunders rolling in and it looks like there's going to be a storm, so plan B, we just spend time in the boat. Is that okay with you or do you want to do something else?"

"No, no Christian that's fine, sounds fun." I say smiling.

"Kay babe, let's get inside."

You see! Babe?! Why must he lead me on. I don't give a fuck anymore this isn't just friends and if he says otherwise then he sure needs to stop with these things that people only do with their lovers. If this is how he treats friends, then we need to have another talk.

And as if it couldn't get worse he grabs me by my waist and walks me to the boat. Fucking shit.

Getting in the boat is awkward. Well at least for me since I'm anticipating this big talk that can make or break us, conversation isn't flowing so freely from me, and I know he notices. It's just I have so much stress which would be the perfect time to bring up plan b, what better time than the present right?

"So remember how you told me your anti-drug and all of this?" He nods suspiciously but I go on.

"So I was thinking since we practically had all of our firsts together why not… you know." I say.

"Know what?"

"You know, let's do… it…. Together."

"No Anastasia I don't know. Are you insinuating sex?"

I almost choke on the air when I hear him say that. Well I get how he got confused but… fuck.

"No, no god no Christian, I meant ….. "

"Go on." He urges.

"God… Marijuana." I say quietly.

"You want me to do marijuana with you? No Anastasia absolute not."

"Oh come on. Your young, I'm young, let's do it before we get to old to do it. And what better person than with each other?"

God, I should of thought this through. I mean why the fuck wouldn't I see that he would not go for it.

"And what piped this little idea on? Or should I say who?" He says giving me a knowing look.

I sign and sit on the bed.

"God, why do you insist on thinking that Kate's this bad example, she's not who you think she is."

"Oh she's not isn't she? Well half of Seattle's men will beg to differ. I'm telling you, she is fucking tainting you."

"Oh, please Christian you're exaggerating, and what makes you think she was the one who put my mind on weed?"

He gives me a "Are you shitting me," Look.

"Oh she's not is she?"

"Fine, she may have been the reason I thought of it, but not the reason I want to do it. I just wanted to try it, especially with the exams and finals, and I couldn't think of a better person than you, but I guess I was wrong."

I sit, and sigh.

"The things I fucking do for you." I hear him say before he looks at me and says "Okay, where is it?"

* * *

Two blunts later…

"I could totally be an FBI agent."

I say. Fuck am I relaxed and Christian, I've never seen him more relaxed ever. But we're both laughing like fucking maniacs

"Oh you totally can." He says stuffing his face with cheese nips.

"Yea, I mean I'm smart, and after watching some CSI, I'm totally ready to kick some ass."

I say kicking, and punching in the air like a fighter.

"Fuck Christian, I'm hungry too!" I say hopping next to him, on the bed stopping him from eating everything.

"God, why didn't I think of this before? It takes the edge off it all. This is totally a way to stop all of our bickering like were an old married couple." I say laughing.

"I know, why do we even fight?"

"I don't know. It's pointless, either I'm being stubborn, or your being a dick." I say biting off some of his muffin.

"Oh a dick, eh?" He says.

"Yep, the biggest dick ever sometimes, I hate it."

"Oh what else do you hate, ?"

"I hate when you shut me out and act so cold, and I especially hate when you refuse to listen to me Mr. I'm always in control. God, you know sometimes I could just kill you."  
"Oh you can, can you. Little ms secret agent. And how would you do that."

Sitting up on my knees I think hard, but am cut off by his loud laughter.

"God are you really that deep in thought about killing me, fuck!" He says between laughter.

"Yes. God, but let's see. I'd make it a slow death, so I could spend some time with you. So how about I poison the god awful coffee you drink everyday which is bad for you. Then I'd spend every day making you happy, because I'd feel a little bad that I'm killing you."

"Well, thanks for being so thoughtful." He says eating some more.

"I'm serious, sometimes all your brooding and seriousness gets me upset. Like, "Not now Anastasia, I have a big scary secret, blah blah." I say imitating him, making him and me laugh.

Falling on his chest I stay there while we catch our breath.

"The storms stowed." I say aloud.

We've quieted down, and he is now running his fingers through my hair. The highs fading away.

"What makes you think I have a big dark secret?" He says casually.

But I know it's a trick. So I decide to go with honesty.

"Your ability to block me out when we get to talking about you, your constant worry about me finding out more about you and your past, the secrets." I say.

"Listen Ana…."

"No," I cut him off, "its fine like I said before."

Quiet. Now or never Ana.

"Christian, I saw the text." Well that was blunt.

"What text?" He says.

I decide I needed to sit up and face him for this one.

"The text from your friend Elena, something about the usual, and someone named Janet."

"You were snooping?"

"No, technically I wasn't since it fell when I was cleaning and your screen happened to be on it…. And… and you know what I'm not ashamed nor do I regret it because to tell you the truth it's just something I get to find out that you weren't telling me. So what does it mean? I mean are you seeing someone, or running a fucking prostitution business. Are you a fucking Pimp …"

"NO, NO Anastasia! No. Listen. Ughhh." He runs his hands through his hair as he stands up.

"Okay, listen. I engage in what would seem to others as a different lifestyle, due to my past. It's called BDSM, Bondage and discipline, Dominance and Submission, or S&M- Sadism and masochism. It's…"

"I know what it is Christian." I interrupt.

"And I really don't care. If that's what you're into, in terms of sex, than who am I to judge? If it's a coping mechanism, or a stress reliever or whatever it is, it doesn't affect the way I see you. But the fact of the matter is that Christian I…. I'm jealous."

I say raising my hands and walking around.

"Okay, and pissed at the fact that this between us isn't friendship Christian. This isn't just friends, and you and I both know it. And the fact that you still are with other girls Janet or whoever the hell, makes me feel upset. I like you Christian, okay a lot, maybe even more than a lot, and I don't want to be just friends anymore. I never wanted it, I just said it because I was afraid of you and my feelings for you and everything just overwhelmed me but I, I am ready now."

I turn to look at him, I'm out of breath, everything I've held in out. Well not the love part but I'm sure it can wait. He looks shocked, and nervous.

And after minutes of waiting.

And waiting.

"I don't do girlfriends Anastasia." He says deadly quiet.

Wow. Are you fucking kidding me.

"Oh you don't. SO you just have sex with women, you even have a fucking person setting up these little sex dates or whatever they are. Is that why Janet didn't work out? Too close for comfort?"

Then it hits me. Janet.

"Wait… Janet. Was that the fucking girl that was there the night I took you to the hospital? The girl you said was Elliot's, that why you were so fucking nervous, you lied to me?" I say, the realization hitting me.

"Anastasia listen please…"

"NO. Why would you lie? And for what reason? Were just friend rights, that's all I mean you don't do the girlfriend thing." I say on the brink of tears, and he inches closer to me and I inch back.

"Ana."

"No don't touch me Christian." I say stopping him.

"Just don't okay. You and I both know that what this is isn't just friendly. Those nights you flirted with me, touched me, and kissed me, hell even when you got in bed with me. You're going to tell me that's what friends do? Is that what you do with all of your friends? How could you just lead me on, made me develop feelings for you, these strong feeling for you, when you know that it was going to lead nowhere?"

He looks at lost for words, and hurt, and he's looking at me with sorrowful pity eyes.

Then something else hits me.

"Was that what I was to you all along? Just a fuck? Just a submissive? Did you think you could just have sex with me and be gone, and go to that Elena to find another one? The usual?"

"Ana you could never be that, god you're so much more."

"Yea right," I scoff, "Because that's what it seems like right?"

"Admit it, own up to it Christian be a fucking man that you are and tell me, tell me what I was from the beginning."

"OKAY! You were just a submissive at first but Ana….."

"NO, Christian. Enough said, I knew you wouldn't feel the same."

I take a deep breath and wipe a stray tear away from my face.

"I knew what I was risking telling you how I really feel. But I'm glad I got it out. But now that everything's out in the open, I can't do this. You'll out grow me Christian, You'll tire of me. So I might as well get out now while I still can, because I don't….. I don't know if I can deal with it, let alone stomach the thought of you leaving me later. You said it yourself you don't do the girlfriend thing, and I can't hide the feelings in that I have for you if we resume as we were. As friends. I… I love you Christian…. But right now I just don't like you."

His face is shell shocked, until it hardens from his jaw to his cheekbone, to his eyes. He shut me out… once again.

"It sounds like you're breaking up with me." He says quietly.

"Maybe I am." I say.

I go to gather my bags, before his talking interrupts me.

"God dammit can we just fucking talk this through for a second. Ana."

"No Christian, we said all that we should have said. I don't think there's a need for anything else. You go on working to make GEH the best of its ability, and as of tomorrow I'll go to New York, and who knows what I'll decide on doing from there."

I stop and look down. This is really it.

I turn to leave before his words stop me once again.

"But you promised me." His words hurt me.

My heart hurts as I remember when I promised him I'll never leave.

"It's for the better." I manage to croak out.

"For who?! You? Because it sure as hell isn't fucking better for me." He shouts.

I can feel him walk up to me, as his breath hits my neck.

"You promised." He whispers.

"I know that Christian. And I love you, but I love my self more… and I can't put myself through that pain. I deserve more." I croak before I leave.

* * *

Okay before you guys kill me ... JUST KNOW that in the next chapter ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN! Please i promised you they will be together and im more then POITIVE that EVERYONE will like the next chapter. KAY? So before you unfollow and yell at me through the comments just be patient for the next chapter and im sure ill be leaving everyone satisfyed.


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